Jokes for Kids


Posted: Friday, October 18th, 2013

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jokes for kidsIllustration by Corey Fields

At a recent staff meeting, a few of us class clowns started telling our favorite jokes for kids. We wanted to share the best ones, because let’s face it: laughter is a learning power tool. It staves off boredom, helps calm test anxiety, and can be a great ice-breaker when kids get frustrated. So next time you need “a good one”, rattle off one of one of these jokes for kids from your friends at Education.com:

Do trains have teeth?
No.
Well, then, how do they choo?

What did Sushi A say to Sushi B?
Wa-sa-bi?

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Owls.
Owls who?

What’s brown and sticky?
A stick.

How many apples grow on a tree?
All of them.

Two atoms are walking down the street together. The first atom turns and says, “Hey! You just stole an electron from me!”
“Are you sure?” asks the second atom.
The first atom replies, “Yeah, I’m positive!”

What did one snowman say to the other?
“Do you smell carrots?”

What building has the most stories?
A library!

What’s a pirate’s girlfriend’s name?
Peg.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in! It’s cold out here!

Will you remember me in a year?
Yes.
Will you remember me in a month?
Yes.
Will you remember me in a week?
Yes.
Will you remember me in a minute?
Yes.
Will you remember me in a second?
Yes.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
YOU ALREADY FORGOT ME?

What’s a cow’s favorite date?
The moo-vies.

Why did the ghost go to the opera house?
He loved classical boo-sic.

Where does a king keep his armies?
In his sleevies!

How much do pirates pay for their earrings?
A buccaneer!

What did the magician say when he lost his rabbit?
Hare today, gone tomorrow.

20 Responses to “Jokes for Kids”

  1. Candice Abellon Says:

    the carrots joke got me when it was told to me. I was like, “Oh, I don’t smell carrots.” it’s all about the delivery!

  2. Mercedes Says:

    Nice jokes to tell my girls, thank you. We always do the knock knock jokes. They’re so silly. Here’s one for ya:
    Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cee Lo. Cee Lo who? See love, I came for you.

  3. Lian Perry Says:

    Why did the bacon laugh?
    Because the egg cracked a yolk.

    Funny jokes, thanks!

  4. Candice Abellon Says:

    Haha oh those are nice ones, Mercedes and Lian :)

  5. Alison Says:

    Knock knock
    Who’s there?
    Amos
    Amos who
    Amos-quito

    Knock knock
    Who’s there?
    Nuda
    Nuda who?
    A-nuda mosquito

  6. Paul Says:

    My grandfather used to ask me this when I was a kid and I never gave the correct punch line, didn’t realize it until he passed…

    Q: What do you think of the high price of cheese
    A: It stinks!

  7. Barry Says:

    How do you catch a unique rabbit?
    Unique up on it.

    How do you catch a tame rabbit?
    The tame way.

  8. Melanie Says:

    How do you get a tissue to dance?

    You put a little boogie in it!!

  9. Rachel Says:

    What did the duck say when she bought lipstick?

    “Just put it on my bill”

  10. Patt Says:

    What’s clear on the outside
    and gray on the inside?

    “An elephant in a baggie!”

  11. Teresa Says:

    Knock knock
    Who’s there?
    Boo
    Boo who?
    Don’t cry, it’s only me!

    My grandmother told me this one over 50 years ago and it’s been a big hit through the generations. (Kids like the “verge of naughtiness” factor.)
    Want to hear a dirty joke?
    A little boy (or a white horse) fell in a mud puddle.

  12. KATHY Says:

    Why did the turtle cross the road?
    To get to the Shell Station!

  13. Debbie G. Says:

    What did one casket say to the other casket?
    Is that you coffin?

  14. Matt D. Says:

    Knock Knock
    Who’s there?
    Interrupting Cow.
    (And as the kid starts to say “interrupting cow who,” you loudly MOOOOOO at them, thus interrupting them. My niece and nephew know it’s coming and still love it.)

  15. sara g Says:

    WHAT DO YOU CALL A COW WITH 2 LEGS? lean beef/ WHAT DO U CALL A COW WITH NO LEGS? ground beef

  16. Shayne Davis Says:

    How do you make a kleenix dance?
    You put a little boogie in it.

  17. Steve Says:

    What did the snail say when he was riding on the back of a turtle?

    Weeeeeeeeee!

  18. Donald Says:

    knock, knock
    Who’s there
    Dewey
    Dewey who
    Do we have to do knock knock jokes

    Why did the chicken cross the road?
    To show the squirrel it can be done.

  19. Scott Says:

    Why do pigs use a lot of sun screen at the beach? Because they are afraid of bacon (bakin’)

  20. Pam Says:

    Why did the chicken cross the playground?
    To get to the other slide!

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