Talking to your 5th grader about sexuality

Talking to your 5th grader about sexuality

Do you think it is better for a young boy to get information about sexuality from his mother or father?  I am at odds with this, due to me being the primary care giver, and closer to my son than his father.  I thought about both of us talking with him together however, I want him to feel as comfortable as possible and I think he might feel trapped with both of us talking. Any advice?  I have already approached the issue of body changes with him, I really feel it is time to give the official "talk!"
Reply from: Wayne Yankus Date: May 6, 2008 at 11:05 am

Avoid the "talk" rather both of you individually should take every reasonable opportunity to see if he has questions.

 Use the news, tv shows, themes such as recent events in town to underscore how you feel about issues of sexuality.  Let him know how you both feel separately or together, but most kids are not comfortable sitting down with parents who feel they are ready when, if fact, the child may not be.

It is an ongoing discussion. Ask him how he feels.  What is he being taught in school?  What does he hear from friends, the internet, and tv shows about which he might have questions. Are there issues about homophobia or gender identity which confuse him? Remember you alone are not going to teach him about sexuality and behavior--the media, school, friends and the world will.

Wayne A. Yankus, MD, FAAP
expert panelist: pediatrics

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Reply from: lcoates Date: May 6, 2008 at 1:24 pm

Thank you for your reply.  I actually e-mailed my sons teacher today to find out if they have "the talk" at school in some way shape or form.  My son has not expressed or shown any interest in sex however, I don't want him to learn from his peers.  I will take your advice and  find appropriate "teachable moments" to bring up the subject.  Thanks again.

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