Selective mutism

When my youngest was in pre-school, he chose NOT to speak in school.  He was fine at home and in any other social situation, but just not when he was at school.  He didn't speak to the teachers or children the entire year.  But he would come home and tell me what he did at school, sing the songs to me that he had learned and show me his artwork that he completed.  

The following year, he had a really good school experience - he talked some with the teachers, was making friends, and participating in circle time.  Much improved from the year before!!

Then, his kindergarten year came about, and he had a fabulous time!!  In fact, there were times when the teacher had to actually tell him to be quiet!  We felt he needed one more year to grow and mature before sending him to first grade, so he repeated kindergarten a second time, and did fabulous!!

Looking back, I think my little one didn't talk during school that particular year because he simply wasn't ready to go to school.  He didn't know any of the children or teachers, but we left him there for 2 hours.  The staff was so sweet and were great friends of mine, so they were very understanding - thank goodness!!

His selective mutism was a way of coping with his own anxieties that he didn't know how to verbalize.  Looking back, he wasn't ready to go to school, and we probably shouldn't have sent him.  There was no sexual abuse - just a little boy's inability to tell us, "I don't want to go!  I'm not ready for this!"

I don't know what to tell you about your school district, except they may see how incredibly intelligent your son is and don't see the need for an IEP.  Understanding is exhibited by what children understand, not by how they perform.  So although he may not be speaking, he may actually be on or above grade level and not need special services at this time.  Which is a good thing!  

Keep in contact with his teacher (which I'm sure you do) and let her know that you want to be informed of his progress in class - is he understanding concepts, completing work, following the routines and procedures set forth?  More importantly than him being on an IEP, would be how are they ensuring he is understanding the material being presented?  What forms of assessments are they using to ascertain his abilities?  Can they interpret the results for you so that you know where your child is academically?  If so, then that's wonderful!  If not, then there is a problem.  

Also, is he making friends?  Does he have one friend that is his "voice" during the day?  How is he interacting with others?  Our son had one little girl that would speak for him and play with him.  He is still very fond of her even though they don't see each other at school anymore.  I believe she was an important part of his self-esteem actually improving during his first year of schooling.

Best of luck to you and your little one.  Continue being supportive during this time - as I'm sure you are.  We lived through it and now our son is a little chatter box at school!  He is now 7 and thriving!  There is hope...keep the faith!

Tiffani Patrick
Teacher/Parent

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SOUNDS LIKE YOU  NEED TO FIND A DIFFERENT DOCTOR MY  DAUGHTER IS 10 AND IS AUTISTIC AND IS JUST NOW TALKING IN FULL SENTENCES, SO WORD OF MOUTH AND A GOOD PEDITRICIAN AND DEVELOPMENTAL PED AND EARLY INTERVENTION, WHETHER, SPPECH, OCCUPATIONAL THERAPY, ETC DEPENS YOUR CHILDS NEEDS,.MM

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Dear Tommy,
I am a special education teacher who has worked with about 8 children with selective mutism over the years.  Let me give you some feedback about both what you have heard so far, as well as current treatment.
First of all, a ray of hope.  EVERY child I have worked with (from age 3-11) has eventually spoken and been FINE.  Unfortunately, Dr. Yankus is not speaking of selective mutism, but of an emotional disorder causing children to not speak based on emotional trauma.  That is totally different from selective mutism which is genetic.  Selective mutism is an anxiety disorder.   It is based on a "shy" gene.  It is very possible that either you or your child's mother was very shy as a child, and in fact, many parents end up remembering that they, themselves spoke rarely in public.  If you take shyness, and take it to the tenth degree, that is selective mutism.  When I became a teacher with my first student who had sm, I did everything to get her to talk to me.  NOthing worked. I even held back snack until she asked me for a cookie.  She would have rather have starved than ask me.  I learned my lesson that, that never worked.  Support and understanding works.  I went to her house for dinner, and from the minute I walked in, she spoke to me, like she had spoken to me for always.  I was stunned.  Gradually, over the next few years, she began to whisper in her teachers' ears, then to certain friends, and is now fine.  This happened to the others as well.  It is a gradual process.  Sometimes anxiety disorder meds work- other times it is just time.  Remember one very important thing.  THIS IS NOT Willful.   It is genetic.
NOw, another very important point.  He does not need an IEP.  BUT he does need a 504 plan.  They differ in that he will not be classified as a disabled child, but WILL get the support he needs.  The school CANNOT deny you a 504 plan ( it is national law )where all his teachers sit together and plan for him in the best way they can to make his year the most successful in school. Telling him that you understand how hard it is to speak, (selective mutism children who are now speaking adults, say it was like they tried to speak and literally could not move) and that when he is ready he will and that you will help him in any way you can to be the best person he can be.  Chances of him outgrowing it are VERY GOOD.  Best of luck.  I also hope Dr. Yankus , the expert panelist, learned some things as well!
Lena

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Lena,
 
Thanks for sharing all of that info.  I'm very curious to know how children identified as having selective mutism qualify to receive special student services.  I am asking because I have a 4 year old that shows all of the signs as a child with selective mutism.  However, her selective mutism is not negatively impacting her education.  She is basically on or above age-level in academic and motor skills.    Yet, I am still concerned, obviously, about her not talking in a preschool / pre-k setting.  (She's already been in the preschool setting for about 2 years.)
 
You mentioned you worked with about 8 kids with selective mutism.  Can you please let me know how they may have qualified to receive special help?  I want to help my 4 year old now before she begins kindergarten.
 
Thanks!
A.M.C.  

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My son is 5 almost 6 and is in Kindergarten.  He went to preschool and never talked but speaks normal at home and in the community.  We discovered he had SM when he was 3.  He hasn't spoken in Kindergarten yet but he has a very caring teacher and we are just praying this will the year he breaks through.  Anyway, I am looking for resources on the 504 plan . . . I would like more detail and I'd like to know how to approach the teacher/school to suggest the 504 plan.  
 
Thank you!
Kristina

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My daughter is in grade 2 and does not have an IEP.  She is however, given an 'unable to assess at this time' or allowed to read into a tape for her teacher.  I do not have an official diagnosis but she has been assessed through the Selective Mutism Clinic.  So far it has not been a problem and her grades have not been hurt by it.  Really what are grades in grade 1 or 2 anyway as long as they learn the material? If it ever results in your child getting penalized for not speaking then you have to demand that she be classified and get an IEP to accomodate how she will be assessed in school

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