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As a parent of three young kids, I've been in your position many times and can relate to your frustration.  In my experience, children really start to establish their own sense of self and independence around this time.  While they can still suffer from bouts of "terrible 2" tantrums, pushing back against ones parents is also an exercise in testing boundaries or indicative of frustration that they don't know quite how to express.  For my oldest, we found that she would be most difficult when she felt like she wasn't getting enough attention or her siblings were getting better treatment.  We made it a practice to devote special time to her regularly and to continually reassure her that while we weren't always able to give her as much attention as she was used to that we still loved her very much.  While I can't speak to your situation directly, she may also be finding it difficult to share her mother with someone else (your boyfriend) and have a hard time accepting him as an authority figure for the same reason.  There's no play book for this one, you just need to be patient, encourage your daughter to communicate her feelings, and make sure she feels like she is getting enough attention.  Good luck, I hope you find a solution that works for all of you.

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