does grounding really work?
My ex has custody of 11 year old boy, he grounds him for 6-9 weeks for a c or d, I think its just making him miserable I am not convinced it helps at all, he grounds him from everything, he can read and thats it 24/7 for 6-9 weeks, does anyone think this is harming my son.
Posted by:
mbryan309
Reply from:
lilylovesnickjonas13 Date: Apr 17, 2008 at 12:25 am
Reply from:
Anelly Date: Jul 2, 2008 at 5:27 am
I don't know grounding too much a child might make their relationship colder. Why not talking with both of them? My parents never grounded me and our relationship is just perfect.
Reply from:
Laura Compian
Date: Jan 22, 2008 at 3:01 pm
Hi Myra,
I always advocate for loving, but consistent and firm parenting. In my view, this kind of parenting includes consequences for inappropriate behavior and positive reinforcement for "good behavior", but I believe that consequences need to be reasonable. There are a variety of opinions as to what is considered "reasonable", but I feel that grounding a teenager for 6-9 weeks is too long. In general, grounding periods lose their effectiveness as teens begin to habituate or "get used to" the grounding circumstances. Or, worse, parents cannot consistently maintain the rules for grounding for an extended period of time and teens begin to take it less seriously.
Many psychologists recommend no more than 12-14 days. In addition, many parents will "take away" a day of the "sentence" for each day that the teen behaves.
Given your concern, you should ask to talk with your ex-partner about discipline and agree on "rules" for discipline and reinforcement that are acceptable and reasonable to both of you. It would be beneficial if you were both on the same page.
Let us know how it goes!
Reply from:
Carla Bowman
Date: Jan 31, 2008 at 5:31 pm
Reply from:
justmenetime Date: Feb 19, 2008 at 2:56 pm
Reply from:
michael vitelli
Date: Aug 30, 2008 at 10:34 am
"he grounds him for 6-9 weeks for a c or d," is interesting, Iwould think it is a result of something else that needs to be pin pointed. I have worked with many smart children who have done porrly in school. Waht are the behaviors at home specific to the end result of poor grades? What alternatives have you both sought for increased grades? What do the teachers say? 6-9 weeks is way too long in my perspective, too many variables. Try reviewing some of our Board members web sites regarding positive re, www.gamingkrib.com including Michell Borba's work.
Hope it helps, its a tough road.
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