does grounding really work?
My ex has custody of 11 year old boy, he grounds him for 6-9 weeks for a c or d, I think its just making him miserable I am not convinced it helps at all, he grounds him from everything, he can read and thats it 24/7 for 6-9 weeks, does anyone think this is harming my son.I think that sitting all day and reading would drive me crazy, my son wants to come live with me anyway and I am going to do what i can to get him out of that house.
Grounding a child for that long is really excessive. If your child is getting bad grades, I think he needs a tutor rather than merely grounding him and making him read. There's other ways to help or discipline a child than just grounding him.
Hi Myra,
I always advocate for loving, but consistent and firm parenting. In my view, this kind of parenting includes consequences for inappropriate behavior and positive reinforcement for "good behavior", but I believe that consequences need to be reasonable. There are a variety of opinions as to what is considered "reasonable", but I feel that grounding a teenager for 6-9 weeks is too long. In general, grounding periods lose their effectiveness as teens begin to habituate or "get used to" the grounding circumstances. Or, worse, parents cannot consistently maintain the rules for grounding for an extended period of time and teens begin to take it less seriously.
Many psychologists recommend no more than 12-14 days. In addition, many parents will "take away" a day of the "sentence" for each day that the teen behaves.
Given your concern, you should ask to talk with your ex-partner about discipline and agree on "rules" for discipline and reinforcement that are acceptable and reasonable to both of you. It would be beneficial if you were both on the same page.
Let us know how it goes!
Myra,
I also suggest that your ex talks to the child's teacher. There maybe something else going on that results in his getting C's and D's.
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