Get Set for Kindergarten...With These Books! (continued)

• Who Will Be My Friends? by Sydney Hoff. (HarperTrophy, 1985) In this book, the main character is the new boy on the block, who is having difficulty finding other children to play with, so he starts playing on his own. When the other boys take note of his ball-handling skills, voila, he has made a whole bunch of friends all at once! “This is a nice little book that has a lot of applications, such as moving to a new town, but also is an introduction to the fear of starting kindergarten,” Coon says.

• Wemberly Worriedby Kevin Henkes. (Greenwillow Books, 2000) This book takes on the topic of worrying through the eyes of a little girl mouse named Wemberley who is terrified at the thought of school. On her first day she meets a new friend. It turns out they're both worried! The two end up helping each other get through the day. “This is a great book for a child who is a little more anxious than most. This author has a good understanding of kids and their emotions,” Coon says. Think the mouse is just for silly effect? Writing the main character as a mouse is a technique to help your child identify with Wemberley's issues, and with the idea of feeling small in a big world, Coon says. Plus, a mouse looks like anyone and no one at once. “When a child identifies with an animal character, she isn't looking at a child who has yellow hair, when she has brown hair," Coon says. And that's good, because "kids are in-tune with what's the same and what's different,” she says.

• Lunch Bunnies by Kathryn Lasky. Illustrated by Marylin Hafner. (Little, Brown and Company, 1996) This book focuses on a specific first-day worry: lunchtime. Clyde is a bunny rabbit about to face the horrors of the cafeteria. “Will I be able to carry the tray?” he wonders. But little Clyde turns himself into a big hero, when he runs to the aid of a fellow bunny that has fallen. Coon calls it, “A sweet story about a little-discussed feature of starting school.”

• First Day Jitters by Julie Danneberg. Illustrated by Judy Love. (Charlesbridge Publishing, 2000) This book has a unique twist that illustrates that everyone has fears. The main character worries a lot about what will go wrong on the first day of school and whether anyone will like her. At the end, children discover it's actually the teacher who is worried. Definitely food for your kindergartener's thoughts!

Crack open one of these titles, or ask the local librarian for more suggestions. And roll a few kindergarten prep books into your reading routine at least a week before school begins.

Don't Just Read, Talk!: Books can serve as a great jumping off point for discussion, so make sure that in addition to reading, you're talking, too. Parents and older siblings should "share their experiences about beginning kindergarten, their fears when they were that age and how they handled their anxiety," Goldstein says. Don't forget to remind your child how he handled other new situations and how well he managed them.

Take School for a Trial Run: Get your kid adjusted to waking up at the appropriate time-- and don't wait until the morning before school to do it! Practice laying clothes out the night before. Walk to the schoolyard ahead of time and see how long it takes you, or point out the school bus stop. Introduce the new routine, or at least elements from it, before school begins.  "A visit to the classroom, meeting the new teacher, understanding the schedule-- these are not just conveniences for the kids!" Rea says, "These rituals can go a long way to reassure parents about the safety and well-being of their children during the school day, and the benefits of that reassurance trickle down, literally, to their kids."

Keep Your Cool! As hard as it is, be sure to keep your own anxiety in check. Yes, your little baby is growing up. And yes, you may have some bad memories of your own trials and tribulations in the sandbox, but your child is looking to you for cues. "Parents need to instill confidence in their child and manage their own anxiety, so as not to communicate their own fears," Goldstein says.

In other words, you can cry with the other moms and dads in the parking lot, after your child has gone through the door. But until then, keep your head up. Your kid will be watching!

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