Your Six Greatest Worries About Kindergarten, and What to Do About Them

More writing: Markers? Pens? My kid hates that stuff and gets tired in about five minutes. I know that fine motor work is important in kindergarten: What should I do?

We need to remember, says longtime kindergarten teacher Cindy Middendorf, of Nichols, New York, author of Differentiating Instruction in Kindergarten, that “the kindergarten curriculum of today is the first grade curriculum of the 1980s, and the biological clock of children doesn’t always understand that.” Often, she says, the issue is simply one of time and gentle understanding. These may just be “developmentally young children who need some skilled handling before your turn them off.”

Sandra Schefkind, MS, OTR, Pediatric Coordinator for the American Occupational Therapy Association, agrees. “Some children are scribbling on paper at twelve months, but typically, a five or six year old is just learning to copy a triangle, or write her name. What we forget is how many skills it takes to be able to manipulate a pencil or scissors.” Both Middendorf and Schefkind strongly caution against forcing rote practice for long intervals. Instead, says Schefkind, “handwriting readiness skills need to be addressed.” Try breaking down a task into component parts, and allow your child to succeed one at a time. Sitting straight, without swinging feet or draping body over the table? A crucial first step! Holding a fat pen? Some children may work better with a smaller pencil that, explains Schefind, “supports a more functional grip.” Aim for short intervals, and let your child break them up with gross motor activities like running around or swinging.

Above all, she counsels, look for progress, not perfection. “Concentrate on what the child can do.” With steady, constructive encouragement, those fine motor skills almost always come along just fine. And if, by the end of the year, your child still seems to struggle, “there are many personnel, including occupational therapists, speech therapists, resource staff and more,” who can help. First grade is not too late to keep working on these skills.

Math: I saw state standards that said kids would start addition in kindergarten, but here I am in early October, and my kid’s just getting comfortable with counting from 1-20. Are we behind already?

Absolutely not, says Constance Leuenberger, teacher at Sopris Elementary School in Glenwood Springs, Colorado, and author of The New Kindergarten. Rote counting is never a goal in elementary math. Instead, says Leuenberger, “We want kids to recognize what a number means—that it represents real things.” So kindergarten Fall curriculum works extensively on recognizing “one to one” correspondence—how the number five, for example, shows five gummy bears.

“Forward and backward counting is also really important,” Leuenberger explains, so that students understand that numbers appear in clear sequence. So if your kid is getting comfortable with counting, that’s great! Leuenberger urges parents to count at home as often as possible, and not to skip this phase of conceptual learning. This is a crucial time for children’s math understanding, as their grasp of numbers becomes intuitive and automatic, and it makes for fast learning later. Above all, remember that if your child is moving steadily along, she’s right on track.

Focus: The teacher wants everyone on the rug for story time, but my kid only wants to pet the guinea pig and build blocks. Does my child have an Attention Deficit Disorder?

Attention Deficit Disorders (ADD and its cousin, Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder) are all over the news, and may seem like an epidemic. But if your kindergartener comes home in September saying he’d rather not sit for rug time, beware rushing to dire conclusions! Chances are, say the pros, that this is just an example of “RLKB”—Regular Little Kid Behavior.

Does that mean the child can’t do kindergarten? Not at all, says Middendorf. Instead, “parents and teachers need to work together.” First, you need realistic expectations. "A half hour of sitting still is too long at this age,” she says. “For a typically developing child in the first 3-4 months of kindergarten, 10-15 minutes of listening to a story, say, is reasonable, provided that the book is at their level and read well.” Second, parents can help by maintaining predictable routines at home. “Every human really craves predictability and routine,” she says. It’s soothing to be able to say, “’I know what I’m going to do,’” and it makes for better learning, too.

Above all, says Andrew Adesman, Chief of Developmental and Behavioral Pediatrics at Schneider Children’s Hospital in New Hyde Park, New York and a board member of Children and Adults with Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (CHADD), “do not rush to judgment.” The three “cardinal features” of attention deficit disorder are hyperactivity, impulsivity, and distractability, all or some of which appear in different forms of the disorder.  Adesman says that "to qualify for a full-on diagnosis of ADD or its close cousin, Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), a child must demonstrate a minimum number of specific behavioral symptoms in two or more settings (such as home and preschool) for a sustained period of time; in addition, these behaviors must be interfering with the child’s functioning—either educationally or socially.”

Furthermore, specialists must determine that these behaviors are not due to any other underlying cause, such as a learning disability or emotional disturbance. So if you’re in the first months of kindergarten and your child rolls over and wiggles when it’s circle time, hang in there. Pay attention, but don’t leap to conclusions. In all likelihood, as Middendorf explains, “the message is, I am a five year old kid and I’m am not ready for this yet.” And in due time, with gentle handling, that readiness will come.

Speech and Language: My child still does “baby talk” r’s and l’s. Is this a speech defect?

Not necessarily! In kindergarten, lots of kids are still mastering the “late eight” sounds: “th” (the), “s” (snake,) “z” (zipper), “l” (little), “r” (run), “er” (brother), “sh” (ship), and “ch” (chip.) Simalee Smith-Stubblefield, Associate Professor of Speech-Language Pathology at University of the Pacific, explains that “having problems with a maximum of three of these sounds is normal for the age.” If your child shows problems with more than three of these sounds, however, or if she has a “speech distortion” such as a lisp, your teacher may recommend a specialist. Quite a few kids receive this special help in kindergarten, only to “graduate” within a few months.

Want to help at home? Practice alliteration—identifying lots of words whose first sound is one that your child is struggling with: rocket, say, followed by rabbit, rock, and river. Or slow words down, and have your child repeat them exactly. You can also use word pairs such as “this” and “fish,” which would sound the same if we didn’t pronounce their first letters differently. Don’t hesitate to make all this goofy and fun—you want your child to associate speech learning learning with good feelings, not ones of failure or frustration.

Still wondering about any of these questions? Unfortunately, none of them is as simple as “where’s my cubby?”, and, as our experts point out, answers may be complicated sometimes. No matter what, remember that, as Kathleen Hayes, New York teacher and author of Classroom Routines that Really Work for Pre K and Kindergarten points out, “Teachers are there to help.”

Children come to kindergarten with such a wide range of experience and temperament; even a few months in age can make an enormous difference. Stay in close touch with your teacher, share your observations, and give it time. If your child does turn out to have an underlying condition, you will have the best data possible to figure out how to help. But remember, as Middendorf says, that the vast majority of the time, “the diagnosis is usually just, ‘I’m young. I’m a little kid.’”