The Zen of Parenting
by Amanda Morin
"Present with presence." That's how Frumet Raskin-Miller describes being a mindful parent. In our busy, micromanaged lives it's sometimes hard to appreciate the overall joys of children and parenting. Being a parent is hard work; it takes planning, scheduling and negotiating and we often find ourselves so wrapped up in the details of what's coming next that we don't notice what's happening right now.
As both an Early Childhood Special Educator and a devoted meditator, Raskin-Milller sees the power of applying the principles of mindfulness to child-rearing. "From a very simple place," she says, "taking a moment to be mindful when your kid is acting up or needs a serious conversation, gives you a chance to unhook from the drama, see more clearly, and act from a place of deeper wisdom and compassion." Taking that moment to be mindful is, however, more than just a parenting technique.
"What we know about the mind is that its function is to churn out thought after thought after thought," states Raskin-Miller. "Most of those thoughts have very little to do with what is actually going on in the present moment." Being mindful requires us to observe those thoughts, not through the lens of past experience, not with criticism or judgment, but merely as they are in the present moment. Scott Rogers, Director of the Institute for Mindfulness Studies and author of the book Mindful Parenting: Meditations, Verses, and Visualizations for a More Joyful Life, is careful to point out that while practicing mindfulness can change the way you parent, it's really a way to experience your whole life differently.
