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The Secrets of French Parents (page 2)

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By Julie Christensen

Guidance. French mothers and fathers rarely spank or yell at kids, yet they usually have perfect control. How is this possible? The French view children as little people, capable of understanding and following directions from infancy. Watch a French maman and you'll notice that she talks to her child as one would to an adult. Perhaps expectations create reality. If you believe your 3-year-old is capable of sitting quietly at a restaurant, then she is. That's the method many French parents use to guide children. Blanc says, "A French mother teaches a child how to listen, how to be responsible and does not give in. We explain to our children what our expectations are and we follow through. A French parent is not scared of their children and acts in control." American takeaway: Trust yourself and trust that your child can behave. Consistently but kindly follow through.

Academics and activities. Older French children spend more time in school than American children and are expected to take their studies seriously. Yet, young children are allowed to develop at their own pace. No frantic schedules of foreign language, tennis instruction or structured playdates. French parents expect their children to learn to entertain themselves. American takeaway: Let kids be kids. Boredom isn't fatal.

Traditions and holidays. French families celebrate many of the traditions we celebrate, including birthdays and Christmas. One custom in France and most of Europe is that of the summer holiday. Living in France isn't cheap and most French people work long days. Come August, though, stores and businesses close down and the French go on holiday, vacationing at the beach or mountains for several weeks. American takeaway: Work to live; don't live to work.

Not every French parenting tradition would fly in our culture, but every culture has positive parenting aspects we can learn from. Take a parenting lesson from the French: Let kids be kids and allow yourself some fun too.

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