Ad Nauseum (continued)
by John Pearson
My final idea would feature extreme close-ups on a pair of cell phone screens as they text message back and forth.
<>WR U AT?
SKOOL. THS TCHR S SOOO BORING!!
LOL!
PARNTS HERE, C U L8R!
The camera then pans out to reveal the cell phone user as a middle-aged man in a suit standing up from his seat in the back of a classroom. As he leaves the room he calls out, “Please excuse me, Miss Parker, I have that parent meeting to attend. Thanks for letting me observe a wonderful lesson!”
The actual commercials that were aired this year really weren’t bad. I think it might be fun someday to have a few school-related ads, though.
Just as long as they didn’t cost us 2 million dollars. I might be able to pull together a few thousand, if there were monkeys involved, but not 2 million.
John Pearson is a third-grade math and science teacher in Dallas, Texas. He has degrees in mechanical engineering from Duke University and Texas A&M, so most consider his math abilities adequate enough to teach nine-year olds. He is also the author of Learn Me Good (Lulu, 2006), a funny, fictionalized account of his first year in education. Read more at www.learnmegood.com
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