Can you hear me now?
by John Pearson
One of the advantages to teaching at an elementary school and not a high school is that I don't have to deal with certain issues with my kids, at least not as much. Topping the list is the issue of cell phones in the classroom.
My personal opinion is that nobody needs to use a cell phone during class except in case of an emergency. For teachers, the exception to the rule also extends to calling parents or calling the school office. However, the only time one of my third graders has any business placing a call during my class is if I'm on the floor, being eaten by a cougar.
Thankfully, I haven't had to deal with the cell phone issue too many times during my five-year tenure. Once or twice, I've had kids with legitimate claims to need a phone. Their parents weren't home after school, and the kids had to be able to call them if a neighbor wasn't around to let them in. In those cases, I allowed the children to keep the cell phones in their backpacks, as long as they weren't ever used in class.
In a few other cases, I've caught kids showing phones off to their friends, as kids are wont to do. When I confiscated the phone, the child invariably pleaded, "Please don't take it! It's my [mom/dad/brother/cousin]'s phone, and if I don't bring it back, they'll [whoop me/yell at me/punish me/make me watch Gigli]!!" I always respond, "I would be more than happy to give it back to your [mom/dad/brother/cousin], as soon as they come to school to pick it up."
Only once has a student-held cell phone actually gone off in my class. I was sitting at the overhead machine going over a tricky word problem when the electronic chirping began. Everyone in the room froze, in that special way kids freeze when they anticipate that someone is about to be busted. The culprit, a boy I'll call T, stared at me wide-eyed with a look that was one part, "I have no earthly idea why my pants are ringing," and three parts, "Please don't use the cattle prod!"
I merely held out my hand towards him, and T slowly stood up, took the phone out of his pocket, and handed it over. By then, the phone had stopped ringing, but since I had a captive audience and a red-handed rules violator, I figured I'd "answer" to call anyway.
"T's phone, hello?" I began, flipping open the cell. As I thought, there was nothing but dead air on the other end.
"I'm sorry, but T is in math class right now, and he can't take any phone calls. Please don't call this number between 7:30 and 3:30. Thank you."
Fortunately, T didn't ask who had called, because I probably would have answered someone ridiculous, like Spongebob Squarepants or Hulk Hogan.
I know that in high school, cell phones have become much more of a problem. Cheaters text message during tests or take pictures of exams. And in a very disturbing recent trend, some students engage in "teacher baiting." They purposefully act out, misbehave, or otherwise push a teacher's buttons, then they capture the teacher's (often unfortunate) reaction with their cell phone cameras. These videos are then uploaded to YouTube.
Cell phones – just one of the many reasons I haven't leapt into the ranks of public high school teachers. In my third grade classroom, I don't need to worry about being the subject of a candid camera video.
Unless, of course, I ever happen to be on the floor, being eaten by a cougar.
John Pearson is a third-grade math and science teacher in Dallas, Texas. He has degrees in mechanical engineering from Duke University and Texas A&M, so most consider his math abilities adequate enough to teach nine-year olds. He is also the author of Learn Me Good (Lulu, 2006), a funny, fictionalized account of his first year in education. Read more at www.learnmegood.com
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Posted by Nadine Graves on Mar 19, 2008 7:40 pm
Posted by Heather Wolpert-Gawron on Apr 1, 2008 11:01 pm
I have also written a novel. It is about a "year in the life" of a veteran middle school teacher. The publisher is Booklocker.com, a POD/ebook company. It is due out in about two weeks. The first chapter can be seen at tomsboomertimes.blogspot.com. I also have a webpage, tomanselm@wetpaint.com.
I'd be interested in corresponding with you on your experiences in publishing.
Keep up the great work.
Tom
Posted by tom on Mar 12, 2009 11:45 am