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lozza
lozza asks:
Q:

my 10 year old daughter is keep running away from home,stealing lying and smoking dont know what to do .

In Topics: Discipline and behavior challenges
> 60 days ago

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Expert

Boys Town National Hotline
Oct 7, 2011
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What the Expert Says:

Dear Lozza,

You are doing the right thing by reaching out for help now before you daughter gets any older and her behaviors escalate. Running away from home, stealing and smoking are all very dangerous and risky behaviors, especially for a 10 year-old child. The sooner you can get your daughter under control the better.

If you have tried individual and family counseling, have called the police when she runs and steals, and she continues to seem to not care about the consequences, it may be time to look at a residential treatment program.

Please reach out again by calling or e-mailing our Hotline. You can talk things over with a trained Parenting Crisis Counselor who can help you decide what type of help would be best for your child and your family. The counselor can find resources for you in your city and state, and also discuss the Boys Town program and provide you with parenting assistance. We are here 24 hours every day to help parents and kids with any problem or concern!

Take care and please reach out again. We hope to hear from you soon!

Sincerely,

Cynthia, Counselor
Boys Town National Hotline
1-800-448-3000
hotline@boystown.org
www.parenting.org






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Additional Answers (3)

trixie15
trixie15 writes:
Well, my teenager's never wanted to leave home so you must being doing something right?
Do you communicate openly with her about all subjects/reality of the world?
If she wants to smoke, I would probably make her smoke a whole pack in front of you, it will make her sick.
Monitor who she hangs out with, it appears there is something going on with her that you are unaware of & it could be repaired by being open with her. I am not a professional at all, I have raised 3-teenager's and I was open and discussed most situations about life, reality and how the real world works.
Whether you want her to smoke or not, she will find a way, believe me, I have been there, and I have had to deal with that issue. Punishing her only makes it worse. You need to find out what is wrong/let her know if she has problems that she can come to you and talk about even the uncomfortable topics.
Listen, at ten years old is young but they still have opinions. Be there for her as a friend, but yet be a strong parent. If you say you are going to do something, do it because they remember stuff told to them.
Start off little, by letting her know what it was like for you growing up and what you did, even if it was bad, but tell her that you regretted it.
Is she continues to act out, then maybe take her to a professional, she may some issues parents are not equip to handle. I had a teenage daughter at the of 12 confronted me and told me she smoked cigarettes. I thought back to when I started, which was the age of 12 and told her, I do not want you to smoke. I knew she would find a way to smoke behind my back so I figured I would let her smoke in front of me that way I would not have the police coming to my door telling me my child was caught smoking. I however did not contribute to her smoking at all. She is older and rarely smokes, but we were talking about if she had children she would make them smoke a whole pack in one sitting because it will make them sick and will not want to ever smoke again.
Teenager's will find away to do what you tell them not to-communication is the most important factor in raising them. Spending time with them means more to them, then buying them an alternative baby sitter such as play-station or i-phone, or whatever they are called. She may need to seek professional help. I do not know how she is raised, I can only speak from my own personal experience. I am telling you to make her smoke, that was just a thought I had when my daughter started? I probably would just try speaking with her openly and honestly first and then go from there.
> 60 days ago

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Louiseasl
Louiseasl , Child Professional writes:
Thank you so much for writing. I am so sorry that you are having a difficult with your daughter.  Please do not try to solve or help the situation alone. Seek professional help from school counselors or area agencies who work with parents and families. Many accept insurance or work on a sliding scale.

 I wish you luck and improved situation soon.
> 60 days ago

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lamadre
lamadre writes:
Call your local police department ask for youth services and a divesion officer.......So much help!   don't wait it worked for us  so supportive.
> 60 days ago

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