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Morganmom04
Morganmom04 asks:
Q:

My 11 yr. Old daughter is cutting. I don't know how to help.

My (step) daughter is 11 and is cutting. She comes from a hard background (mother's drug abuse, emotional abuse, verbal abuse, growing up too young, watching jons come and go) and I don't know how to help. She is so hurt and broken inside. She went through counseling this last year, and we were so busy over the summer we missed all summer. Now, she has started cutting. She grew up taking care of her younger brother who was 3-4 at the time, (she was 6-7) while her mom did what she did. My daughter took complete care of her brother, feeding, bathing him, etc. And also protected him on a few occasions from their high as a kite mom. All the while completely neglecting herself and her own needs.  I believe she is remembering situations she suppressed when she was young. And with all the anger and resentment she already feels for her mom, these past situations are making her worse.
What do I do to help. We have had custody for almost 3 yrs. "Mom" has been gone for 2+, with no contact. My daughter has told me, I'm her mom, but she can't call me mom because it makes her feel like the "bad daughter she always was" or so her mother used to say. She has told me she wants me to adopt her, so there is no question or extra explanation, that she is MY daughter.
I know adopting her will not completely eliminate her cutting, but could it help? I need to do something to help, aside from just "being there for her"
In Topics: Cutting
> 60 days ago

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Expert

Boys Town National Hotline
Oct 8, 2013
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What the Expert Says:

Your daughter is cutting as away of coping with her pain. As a parent we know that this isn't a healthy coping skill and we have to try and give our children other ways to deal with our pain.

If you have worked with a counselor in the past and felt that it was helping your daughter you might want to re-connect with that counselor again.

Boys Town National Hot line
1-800-448-3000
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