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Daisy227
Daisy227 asks:
Q:

What to do with a 12 year old that lies, hurts and shows no remorse to others?

For example: Never apologizes, shows no remorse for actions, dramatizes things, stares you straight in your eyes and lies. Does things behind her parents back and they believe her. Will only admit to doing something wrong when she has been caught out - never apologizes for it. Kicks other people things from car and then doesn't say she did even though we have been looking for item for months. Pushes people and hurts them physically. Will trip kids on purpose when no teacher is looking....
In Topics: Discipline and behavior challenges
> 60 days ago

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Expert

Boys Town National Hotline
May 21, 2012
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What the Expert Says:

Hello,

We're so glad you took the time to reach out for some help on handling this situation. The first line of defense when trying to correct a child's behaviors is to have the parents on board with this change, so they can help, encourage, and support her during the entire process. You wrote that her parents believe her when she lies, and that is concerning. It seems as though the parents are uninvolved in trying to improve their daughter's behaviors. It may help to speak with somebody at the school, such as a teacher or the school counselor. Bring your concerns up to them, so that they may turn around and bring those concerns to the parents. If a child in their school is mistreating others, it is the job of the school faculty to correct those behaviors. The best way to do so, is by involving the parents.

If this 12 yr old is doing these types of things to your child, remember that you can't control her behaviors, but you can help your children to control theirs. Teach your kids healthy ways to react when faced with these types of actions (walking away, talking to an adult, and not doing anything to escalate the situation even further). Teaching your kids to give the 'cold shoulder' is much better than teaching them to fight back. Remind them that her behavior is definitely not appropriate, and then model more healthy behavior for them to follow.

Boys Town National Hotline
1-800-448-300

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