Show both of them a few youtube.com videos of child birth. That will at least urge them to be protected next time.

First you should never allow a 14 year old to date. Dating a 17 year old is out of the question. Girls should not date until at least 16 and then only when in the company of adults. Boy's can talk girls into anything at that age. You might think they are mature but can she handle being a mother at that age. I think Not! And why risk it.  She may hate you now but if you let her know early on that YOU are the parent and set the rules early she may not test the waters. This boy need to be told that he could be arrested for rape,even if it was with her consent. She was probally coerced. Tell her that you will have him arrested and DO NOT bargain with her or him! Stand your ground you are the parent not a buddy. She will thank you when she is older and she realized what a terrible fate you spared her from.

your daughter is how old? 14?! wow. your daughter will try to see this boy. putting her on birthcontrol is a great thing. i still wouldnt trust them though. talk to the school guidence counsler. i really hope this helps

This is a tough situation.  I would definately keep her on birth control and get her to a therapist right away.

it is a difficult situation but if you try to keep her away from him shes just going to hide stuff from you and sneak off to meet him without you knowing. its best to discuss the situation with her in a calm way so she can understand stand the risks shes making.

It must be really tough for her to start having sex with a guy and then lose all her privileges and ability to be with him. She is only 14 which makes it much worse. I wish the best for her and hope you see what you are denying her of during her hard but could-be great high school years.

I wrote a long detailed letter and then I lost it. So here is the short version. I am 41 and I can tell you what happen to me at that age. My parents were pretty strict. They did not allow me to date and the same thing happened to me. I met a 17 year old guy. They would not allow me to see him. They ended up putting me on birth control with no explanation. I would defiantly talk to your daughter about STD's. I have read the other answers here and they are just not dealing with reality. It is what it is. Taking the phone away and having her earn it back is totally ridiculous considering the fact that we are talking about a girl that just did an adult act. Your daughter needs to know she is loved and made a bad choice. However, punishing her is probably making it 10 times worse and it will backfire.
When my parents did the same thing to me, I ran away. When I did come home, things were never the same. My parents and I fought all of the time. I was in one of the best High Schools in the country and a top swimmer on our swim team and should have been having the time of my life. Instead, I acted out and went through hell when it all could have been avoided by them allowing me to see that guy.Honestly, how my parents reacted, I believe, directly impacted the course my life went on from there. I snuck out, started to drink, got in with bad kids. All of this because of the hate I had for my parents. You have to remember that your daughter is into this boyfriend. Her feelings are real. Yes she is depressed and crying. We all know that in 20 years from now, none of this will matter. But to your daughter, this is her world! Long story short, that 17 year old and I broke up. I continued on a path of destruction that really did not end until I was 38. I fully believe that if my parents had just allowed us to see each other in some sort of way, other than forbidding it, we would have probably broken up anyway and I would have just got back into being a fourteen year old. But because I was grounded I felt like I was grounded for committing a sin. They did not explain all of the consequences of my actions. They just said to not have sex. They are going to see each other anyway, some how, so you need to warn your daughter that even if she does not believe he would cheat, that it can happen. I had a friend of mine go through that same thing and unfortunately it ended up with the guy got drunk and was with another girl. Her parents never explained how important condoms were and they both ended up HIV positive. 1989. As for me, I became very promiscuous.(cant spell). I had an unplanned pregnancy and was pregnant at my prom. I got 2 STD's and then started a train wreck of mistake after mistake. 4 kids later (2 I gave up for an open adoption) then had 2 more. It was not until i was 35 and I met a wonderful man that my life began to change. I started to go to counseling and low and behold, the counselor dug deep into my past with me and we realized it all started when they said I could not see my 17 year old boyfriend. There are other people writing to you and saying you never should have allowed this. Don't beat your self up. They also are not living in reality. If my Mother and I could go back in time, she told me she would have allowed us to see each other at least in my house. We would have broke up soon anyway. I am sure your daughters relationship wont last long either. Talk to her, lover her, and let he know you are there for her although very disappointed. You don't want her to shut you out. She is going to need you when he breaks her heart. Sometimes in life we need to bend the rules a bit. My parents chose to stick with rules are rules and that was that. Well, it obvious was a very stupid thing they did and they would be the first to be telling you to be your daughters friend and Mother. This to shall pass. You don't need her to be 41 like me that spent half my life destructing things because my parents lived with blinders on. They ended up getting a divorce and wow, they both say they wish they would have handled the 17 year old boyfriend situation differently. That 17 year old friend-ed me a few months ago on face book. He is happily married and has a wonderful family. So, in a nut shell... In 20 years is this really going to matter???Stop worrying about whats right from wrong. She already did what is wrong. Now you need to do what it takes to make it right, and taking the phone away is only going to come back to bite you. As for the other people telling you she is way to young and all of those other irrelevant things, and you should take her dolls away need to wake up to. They are living in a fantasy world. If I was 14 in the year 2010 instead of 1989 none of that would have worked at all. Trust me, in this day and age you have to be more creative in how you handle your children's bad choices. The technology they have out now makes me laugh when they suggest to take away the phone. Oh by the way, your daughter just lost her virginity and now probably feels like the worst person in the world because on top of that she is being punished.I wish you luck, please keep an open mind, this is not the Brady bunch days any more.

YES, you should keep your 14 year old away from dating a 17 year old, but it's a little late for that now.  She was too young to date, at that age the body may be developed but the mind is still not mature enough to handle the complications of dating and certainly not sex.  You can't change the past, but I'm sure you realize your mistakes.  You must move forward and for starters I would sit with my daughter and have a long discussion about the responsibilities of relationships, especially sexual relationships as these are much more complicated.  Being strict now, will not fix the problem, you allowed this to happen and yet you punish her.  You must admit to your daughter that you made the mistake of allowing a child to get involved in a relationship and explain to her the consequences and how this would effect her future.  By admitting your mistakes and regaining respect hopefully you can make wiser decisions together in the future.  ?Birth Control? for a 14 year old, I believe I would teach absence instead of providing her the tool to continue her affair, besides the birth control pills will not protect her from diseases which are far worse than the conception of a child.  Please talk with your child and seek professional guidance, though it be at church, doctor or just within your own inner strength and good judgment with high morals before your 14 year old earns a poor reputation and ruins her chances for dating respectable boys later when she is ready, because with a poor reputation, nice guys won't want her by their side and she could miss the love of a lifetime.  I've seen this happen before.  Good luck and best wishes to you and your daughter!

TO:IAMTHEMOTHER:

TO even suggest to have a boy charged for rape is a bit drastic and down right illegal. It would be illegal to commit a felony and lie to the police. It is not rape and it is not even statutory rape. They would have to be 5 or more years apart. I would never usually respond to an answer, for I respect peoples opinions. However, you are suggesting for a lie, a LIE that could ruin that boys life. The fact that you think it was pressure from him is not fair. However, it just scares me that their are people in the world like you. If you would do that yourself, that is very scary to me that you would try to put an innocent child in prison. People need to be very careful of you. I guess you don't have any boys as children.Well, that doesn't matter. You are telling some one to lie and destroy a young mans future. i will pray for you.