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Purplepeater
Purplepeater asks:
Q:

My 14 year ok son is losing friends

My son wasn't invited to his friends Halloween party. He was very upset. As I'm friends with the family I asked the girls Aunt what was up; it turns out he's been teasing the girl, a life long friend, about her acne. Shes already very insecure about it& doesn't know why he would be so mean to her. I don't know how to approach the matter without getting cross with him! I'm sure he knows that it's hurtful to do that. Help
In Topics: Teen issues
> 60 days ago

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Expert

Boys Town National Hotline
Mar 2, 2014
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What the Expert Says:

The best advice we can give you is to remind your son how it feels when someone says hurtful things to him or when someone makes fun of him.  It is important to teach our children empathy.  

Our job as parents is to teach to our children when they make mistakes or when they do things they are not supposed to.  How we teach to them is to make sure they earn consequences for their behaviors and actions.  We encourage you to have your son apologise to this young lady for making fun of her, and then make sure he earns a consequence such as loss of privilege/priviedges (TV, video games, cell phone, computer, etc.).

We hope that you find these suggestions and advice helpful.  Please take care and remember that you can call the Boys Town National Hotline 24 hours a day at the number below, free of charge to discuss any parenting issue.  We are here to help, you are not alone!

Chris, Counselor

Boys Town National Hotline
1-800-448-3000
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Additional Answers (3)

artemis.of.the.moon
artemis.of.... , Student writes:
Well, he needs to understand that it's hurtful to be teased... And that what goes around, comes around... Like karma.

If he makes fun of her for having acne, which is a natural thing for teenagers to have, when he develops it, if he hasn't already, he'll probably be teased by her. (Just as a way to get back at him.)

Just sit him down and talk to him, taking deep breaths to keep yourself as calm as possible.
> 60 days ago

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genermcmillan
genermcmillan writes:
please talk to her openly and understand what actually happen then make proper decision that if she is your best friend or not.
> 60 days ago

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Purplepeater
Purplepeater writes:
Thanks guys, I spoke to the girls Mum for along time.  She said they've not fallen out, just that her daughter was a bit fed up with my son.
I spoke to him, he wasn't very responsive, but I asked him to think about how she's always been a good friend, when others haven't been and how she must have felt upset with him to not have invited him ( he was on original invite list)
I'm hoping he'll apologise this week at school and they can put it behind them
> 60 days ago

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