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migdalia1326
migdalia1326 asks:
Q:

How can I get help with my 14 year old? She doesn't want to go to school.


I am separated from her father.

Question asked after reading: http://www.education.com/reference/article/Ref_...
In Topics: Motivation and achievement at school, Children and stress, Single parent families
> 60 days ago

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Expert

ShirleyCressDudley
Jan 28, 2012
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What the Expert Says:

I'm sorry you are having trouble getting your 14 year old to go to school.

A child experiencing the separation of parents is under some stress. She is experiencing confusion and instability in her life.  You may think this is the time to be a little lax on the rules, and "give her a break" but the opposite is true.

Your daughter needs to know that there is stability in her life. Stability includes rules and boundaries she can depend on.  

With loving kindness, remind your daughter that going to school is not one of the choices in life- she is required to go to school.  If you have any difficulties getting her to attend, after that, then impose some penalties on her- (take away her cell phone, take away other privileges like going to visit friends on the weekend, or move her bedtime  up 30 minutes.)  

You are in control and you can handle this situation. Your daughter needs to see that you are in control and that you won't bend to her whines or demands.

Remember that this is showing your daughter love and stability. I wish you the very best.

Shirley Cress Dudley, MA LPC NCC FACMPE
Director of The Blended and Step Family Resource Center
Author of Blended Family Advice
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