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beautifulchildren
beautifulch... asks:
Q:

What do I do with an 18mo old boy that throws hard objects and knocks heavy furniture over then laughs and runs out of time out?

He's a beautiful boy, but I feel completely NOT in control on a daily basis. I have a 3yr old girl who was much gentler. It's hard handling 2 toddlers, especially a wild one that won't listen when requested or reprimanded. I feel my anger building as the weeks pass, and I am not sure how to handle him or myself.
In Topics: Parenting / Our Family, Teen issues, Discipline and behavior challenges
> 60 days ago

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Expert

Boys Town National Hotline
Feb 24, 2012
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What the Expert Says:

It's hard to explain things to an 18-month-old, so that's why sometimes it's good to use the "show-and-tell" method.  If you angrily tell him not to knock over a rocking chair, he might not understand what you're trying to tell him.  All he knows is that you're not speaking pleasantly and it has something to do with the chair.

Therefore, take a deep breath when he acts out and then give him a little extra time.  Get down on eye level, be firm but not angry, and tell him very simply not to knock over furniture.  Then, right the chair so he can see it.  TELL him, but also SHOW him. :)

Good luck!

MKM, Counselor
Boys Town National Hotline
1-800-448-3000
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M2007
Feb 23, 2012
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Best Answer!

what's this?
from a fellow member
I have worked in day-care with children who are infants- toddler, and taught pre-K-gr 2, and it is VERY hard to take care of 2 toddlers, and give them the undivided attention, and hands-on training and conditionng they need. And, I think it's easier for a care-giver than a mom, because of the objectivity of being a trained professional at work.

I would recommend that you prepare two separate rooms that you can supervise, and keep up a fence for times when you need to keep the 3 yr old in time out. Also, just stay on your toes,and do not allow hard objects to be thrown. And remember, this behavior will not last for ever BUT, it is critical that you handle things pro-actively and effectively right now.

You can be pro-active, and effective by showing the two year old a fun game where he can throw stuff that is soft, and play it regularly and include lots of laughing, hugs and kisses, etc. Then- switch to a sad and serious tone, and demonstrate the game with a hard object(go throught motion)- this time no laughing hugging or fun. Talk about it when ever you get the chance, and discuss the danger, broken stuff, etc.- You can even tell him stories you make up about toys that got broken, and feelings that got hurt, injuries, etc.!... and elicit responses from him that demonstrate is understanding that you want from him in and words and actions he can give you. Then reward his understanding with praise and affection!

Above all, never forget he is younger than the 3 year old, and will always be in an earlier stage of development, and that subconsciously,, and consciously both kids will always be competing for your attention, and approval, and that the older child may be more able and inclined to get your attention.

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