She is in a Montessori school/Daycare. Her teacher says she is a darling and they do not have problems with her attitude. At home when she decides she does not want to do something she acts very rude. Ex Last evening when we got home from school & her brother exited the car 1st she got really upset as she wants to be the 1st one in the house. When I got her out she just stood by the car & wouldn't walk with me to the house. I talked to her I explained to her that her brother forgot to wait and that I would race her to the house. She loves to race as long as she wins, which we let her win. She looked away as I spoke to her and would not move. I told her I would leave her there alone & she answered good. I walked toward the house and she was just standing in the same spot. I did not want to leave her out in the cold by the curbside so I walked back & tried to make her laugh & kissed her. She raised her hand and swung her hand. I told her she was not to do that again and I must've given her a mean look because she finally walked in, after 9 mins. I sometimes raise my voice and then she cries & then wants me to hug her and I excuse myself for raising my voice. She then does what we need her to do partly crying through it. I want to find a method so that I do not have to raise my voice to her it kills me but I know that this is behavior that will have bad repercussions for her in the future. What can I do?