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1frustratedparent
1frustrated... asks:
Q:

How do i get my 2yr old daughter to listen and behave in public??

I have a 2yr old daughter who acts out in public.. When we are out at a store she always throws a tantrum when i am at checkout..sometimes shed try to grab items off the shelf i tell her to put it back and she does but then yells and screams just to get others attention. When we are at home and my bf comes in..shed always try to follow him so i tell her to sit down or go play and she tells me NO!! I don't no where shes getting these smart alack ways from..shes not in a school or around anyone really. Its hard because i don't no what to do I'm 23 and I'm trying my best to raise her the right way. Discipline id sometimes give her a little smack on her behind then she goes to timeout. But then afterwards she keeps doing the same thing over and over every time..the spankings or timeouts don't do anything! I tell my mom but all she did was laugh because she said she gets it from me i acted the same way when i was little. AAAGGH!! i just want her to behave and it seems impossible. She gets in trouble like everyday!
In Topics: Discipline and behavior challenges
> 60 days ago

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Expert

Dr.Monika
May 16, 2013
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What the Expert Says:

You just described normal behaviors in a 2-year-old!  That's why this time is called "the terrible twos"!  Ok, but it will pass if you give it time and put in some work.  You mentioned discipline as spanking and time-outs.  Those are punishments and punishment is a very small portion of discipline.  Discipline is a system of teaching your child how to function within the family and the society.  So first, it is positive reinforcement: praise for good behaviors.  Don't overuse the phrase "good job", use only to praise specific behaviors.  For example, "Good job for putting this away."  or "Good job for cooperating."  Don't use it all the time and for everything, because it will lose its meaning.  Second, it is punishment: time out for unacceptable behaviors, one minute for year of life.  I don't like spanking, because it breeds resentment and sends a message that hitting is ok. Stick to time outs at this age.  Don't send her to her room, because it is her kingdom with all her toys, etc.  A time out should be administered in a chair that stand in the middle of the room.  She will probably want to escape, so you sit in time out with her and do not let her go until the timer goes off after 2 minutes even though she probably will fight you.  Just hug her tightly.  After the timer goes off, let her go.   Third, consistency.  Be consistent in administering time outs.  That will teach your daughter what is expected of her.  Overall, kids do not want to be in trouble, so once you implement these steps, your daughter will start to behave.

Best regards.
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Additional Answers (3)

vickibyrd
vickibyrd writes:
This is the perfect time to introduce the process of "positive rewards." This is the process by which you reward her for the things that she does right; right makes might.  All kids desperately want to please their parents and noting to her that you are pleased with her behavior by rewarding her is the best bet right now and forever forward.

When you go to the store tell her before hand not to ask for anything and do not touch anything because she will NOT get it. Tell her that if she does well, there may be a special treat for her. Of course she is going to ask and whine and have a tantrum the first few times but continue with this process until she turns 18. I promise you, sane moms will understand so do NOT be embarrassed.  When you get back to the car and she does well, hug her and tell her how proud you are of her being a big girl. Do this often as long as she is a girl. If she does not do well, tell her that you are not happy with her behavior and kind of give her the cold shoulder. She will get the point. Let her see both sides of you (pleased and not pleased). Be sure to use the word "big girl" a lot now. 2 year olds want to be big girls.

Whatever you do, do not give her any materialistic items as a reward as it becomes short term and you will have to give her more expensive and more quantity. Her focus should be on you being proud of her behavior. Maybe some icecream or something here and there may be good for mommy daughter time. Do this at home and out of the house. Stay focused, stay loving at all times and remember, she can go to your mom's house to act like a baby.
> 60 days ago

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hannahjo
hannahjo writes:
It is quite natural for some kids to be like this until they get socialized. The best thing would be sending her to a playschool after she is old enough. Socialization can do a great deal of change over in kids.

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otisscorky
otisscorky , Parent writes:
sounds like a normal 2 year old, stop spanking her, not even a little.
If she acts out in public pick her up and take her out of the situation.  the way she acts is called the Terrible 2,s.  Three will be a lot easier
> 60 days ago

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