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bob21
bob21 asks:
Q:

my 4 year old daughter does not know the different between colours and has tantrum out burst

In Topics: Discipline and behavior challenges
> 60 days ago

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Expert

Boys Town National Hotline
Feb 14, 2012
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What the Expert Says:

Helping a child learn colors, numbers and letters has become a lot easier since we have so much information on different websites and so many fun games to use on the computer. Using technology for this kind of learning makes it fun and not so boring for young children. Check out this site for some fun ways to help your daughter learn her colors. http://crafts.preschoolrock.com/index.php/crafts/color-collage and www.pbs.org . You can even use your web searcher to find more free games to download that will teach your child numbers and letters as well. Of course we always want to limit the time your child spends on a computer because it can be over stimulating and cause your child to have more temper tantrums and feel out of control.

As for the temper tantrums it may help to understand the stage of development for your child. Children at the age of 3 or 4 typically want to try to push the limits set by their parents; therefore, it is up to you (the parents) to decide what your plan will be. Stay consistent, and over time you will see a decrease of his undesirable behaviors. It is important that you remain as calm as you can when you are teaching or redirecting him. It seems like what is currently happening is your child is getting upset when you ask them to do a task and then you may become upset. Thus, they receive more attention. It's a cycle called, negative attention-seeking. As the parent, you want to try to "flip" this attention-seeking into a positive.

You can work on a positive chart and for every task you ask your child to do, without throwing a tantrum they do it, they get a sticker. Make the tasks simple like putting on socks or saying good morning when you say it to them. Move on to more daunting tasks that have caused tantrums in the past. Every day is a new day so your chart starts over for each day. At the end of each day maybe the reward for a certain amount of stickers or a minute for each sticker can be a piece of candy or an extra minutes of playtime or computer time It could mean an extra nighttime book. Reward the positive and continue to remind them of what positive behavior looks like. Stay calm during the tantrums and walk away if you are at a place where you can do so. Remind her that this is not the behavior you get a sticker for. Then follow up with what she should do.

We are here 24/7 and hope that this helps.

Sincerely,
Boys Town National Hotline
1-800-448-3000
Hotline@boystown.org
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