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AJsmommy1017
AJsmommy1017 , Parent asks:
Q:

My 4 year old is Driving me Crazy

Hello All! I feel like a Terrible mother, My son is 4 and he is really out of control. He talks back all the time, he Doesn't listen to my husband and I , at preschool or even to Grandparents. We have to have a talk with him all the time about listening and how when he listens, it makes me and daddy happy! He has good days but most of the time he is not behaving, I work nights and stay up with him during the day to avoid paying for daycare. i have done this for 3 years, my husband works days so is home with him in the evening. We are all together on the weekends but feel like single parents during the week. I feel like i am doing something wrong. Just last week he had a field trip to the dentist with his preschool so i had to go. He was the only child in his class who just didn't want to in the back and listen to the story. not because he was scared but because he just didn't want to. I cry once every two days, i am at my wits end. i Always praise him for the good he does but i don't know what else to do with him not listening. Please help!
In Topics: Discipline and behavior challenges
> 60 days ago

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Expert

Boys Town National Hotline
Jun 7, 2014
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What the Expert Says:

First off you are not a terrible mom. Parenting is one of the most enjoyable and frustrating jobs all at the same time.

Please continue to praise your son when he is doing the things that you need and want him to do.

You might want to take a moment to look at the time that you are spending with your son. Is he getting more one on one attention from you when he is doing something that is upsetting to you or are you spending more time with him when he is listening?

If the answer is that you spend more time when he is being inappropriate then he is being rewarded for his negative behaviors. You want spend the most time with him when he is being positive.

When you have to give your son a consequence then this should take only a minute or two. Tell him what he did that was inappropriate, what his consequence is and what you would like him to do next time. Then walk away. This isn't open for discussion.

When he is being appropriate continue with the positive praise and spend time with him. He will start to see that when I am behaving people will want to be around me and when I am not behaving then people don't want to spend time with me.

This is a good article about rewarding positive behaviors

http://www.parenting.org/article/positive-consequences-linking-rewards-to-acceptable-behavior

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