my 5 year old daughter is cruel to animals and her 2 year old brother?

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darkdestiny... asks:

im at my wits end. i cannot take her being so cruel. she abuses the dog every chance she thinks im not looking and does cruel things to her 2 year old brother. im very soft spoken mother and am very guilty of spoiling my children. id bend over backwards for their happiness. i know im not good at discipline ive always been very loving and affectionate to my children. my husband is in the military he is captain and not around a lot. i love my children just so worried about her "evil" behavoir. dont know what to do. ive always tried to teach her kindness dont understand why she can be so cruel. she kicks the dog and constantly hurt her brother every chance im not looking. bruises him. poor little guy. i try so hard to watch them but i dont have eyes on the back of my head seriously. what can i do. i need help. it breaks my heart to see my child do such horrible things. im very emotionally sensitive and love animals. she beats on our dog he is too nice to complain. ive caught her hurting him he cowers under a chair trying to get away but doesnt whine or complain poor doggy broke my heart when i caught her. need mind bleach to forget the horrible things ive caught my daughter doing. i love her but im so scared something is not right with her. what should i do?

In Topics: Discipline and behavior challenges

> 60 days ago

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Expert

Boys Town National Hotline

Jan 3, 2011

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What the Expert Says:

Before you decide that something is not right with your daughter, let's take a look at what you can do as parent which may affect her behavior. It could be that she has somehow learned that when she hurts animals and her little brother, she gets a strong reaction from you. She gets attention for her bad behavior. Even though it is negative attention, it is attention none the less.

One clue which may lead to if what she is doing is a behavioral issue, ask the question: does she behave this way at school or around other adults, or does she act in this way only in your home? If the answer is that she behaves this way in front of others besides you, then the problem may not be behavioral, but something more serious. To be sure, make an appointment with your daughter's pediatrician for starters. Tell him or her what is happening and that she is harming your animals and your son. The doctor should be able to provide you with referrals for an evaluation and counseling.

If it seem that your daughter is in fact seeking attention from you, then you can work with her to change these behaviors, but it may take professional help due to the seriousness of her actions. Either way, please reach out to either your doctor or to a child and family therapist for assistance. The longer your daughter continues to harm her brother and your pets, the longer it will take for her to learn new ways of behaving and thinking.

If you would like to speak with a counselor about this immediately, you can call our Hotline. We are here 24/7 to help parents who are having problems with children of any age. You can also e-mail us, our contact information is listed below. The counselor will also be able to refer you to parenting resources in your local area. Thanks for reaching out today. Take care and hope to hear from you soon!

Sincerely,
Cynthia, Counselor
Boys Town National Hotline
1-800-448-3000
www.parenting.org
hotline@boystown.org

Resources:

www.parenting.org

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