imhismama asks:

My 5 yo does not behave/listen

My 5yo son is in a private Kindy because he needs the academic challenge. He started K reading at 3rd grade level, math at 1st. The school dist would not let him in because he was 18 days shy of the stupid age requirement. In preK he had some behavioral challenges which I believe were due to boredom & now those are gone because he is stimulated. However there is still the challenge of him bouncing off walls & being silly during circle time & not listening when told to do something. I also found out this week he is lying to me when he says he has a good day, the next day I can manage to pull out of him that he did get removed from circle for not listening. At home he can be told to remove his boots before going in the kitchen but 2 seconds later I find he has walked through the kitchen in his muddy boots! He heard me so it is not that! Today before his karate class I told him to behave & listen to direction, not be silly or we would not go visit Santa at the amusement park. Sure enough he is screwing around in class & even his Sensai tells him to knock it off. We did not go see Santa. Other times he has lost things from toys, tv, activities, even Elf on the Shelf left b/c he was sick of my son constantly being bad! I am sick of his behaviors ruining things for the rest of us (not getting to go see Santa or run to the store because he is in timeout). We have used spanks, losing items, etc, NOTHING gets to him! Tried Intuniv & it did nothing. Apt in 2 days with psych for testing
Member Added on Dec 14, 2013
I struggle right now because I'm not helping the problem (we have just started counseling as well). I HATE MY KID! I HATE MYSELF! I can't stand what this is doing to us & I hate that I am probably screwing him up more by telling him I hate him, he's an idiot, no body likes him. I'm a freaking bully because I don't know what to do! NOTHING gets through to him! NOTHING! What is wrong with him? I have talked with his pedi about his behaviors MANY times & 2+ weeks ago couldn't even get us in until the upcoming Thursday! In the meantime I asked for help from DCF before I hurt this kid & they managed to get us in for counseling (1 session before the holiday vacation she takes!) & the counselor set us up with the psych doc for an eval, we see her Mon. I see my PCP on Tues because I need some antidepressants at this point, I think I've already snapped. All I do every time I think about it is cry because I feel like a failure. I feel I will damage him mentally by what I say. As I type this, he is in time out but I can hear him walking around! I could beat him for disobeying but it would do no good. It isn't like the kid does not have empathy either, he is concerned & loving if say a classmate gets hurt. It is just like he does not THINK! But he's so smart! Why can't he get it? He can put a 5000+ piece Lego set for adults together at the age of 4 with no help, but he can't remember for 2 seconds that he needs to stop talking/touching/bouncing/walking around! Why is he broken?
In Topics: Discipline and behavior challenges
> 60 days ago



Boys Town National Hotline
Feb 26, 2014
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What the Expert Says:

It sounds like you are really struggling right now.  It is good that you have been able to get into counseling for you and your son.  Getting to a healthy place yourself, is the first step towards sorting everything out.  In the meantime can you ask for help from friends and family members?  Reach out and let your loved ones know that you and your son are struggling right now.  Even if they could care for your son a few hours and you could get a break every once and a while that would help tremendously.  If you need further help, reach out, continue talking to your doctor, counselor, your friends and family; talk to a hotline.
 - Sara, Counselor
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