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satchley
satchley asks:
Q:

my 6th grader is lying and stealing

Lying and Stealing has been an ongoing issue with my 12 year old son.  He will make up stories about how he has made some amazing touch down at recess or how someone has given him something that I am confident he has taken.  This past weekend he took some things while he was with his grandparents and told them that they were given to him.  When his step father found the items I called the people who had "given" them to him and they confirmed my fears that yes, indeed they were stolen. In the past I have grounded him for lying but have never actually been able to prove that he has actually stole something.  Grounding seems to do nothing but make his behavior worse.  Just yesterday he defied me and told me to finish a task his Aunt asked him to do because he wasn't going to do it.  Spankings do not seem to help.  I am at a loss and am not sure what to do anymore. Any advice would sure help.
In Topics: Discipline and behavior challenges
> 60 days ago

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Expert

Boys Town National Hotline
Feb 26, 2014
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What the Expert Says:

It is best to figure out WHY a child is behaving a certain way first in order to address HOW to change the behavior. Is he stealing because he wants things and can’t have them? Is he cheating or lying because he thinks he is “slick” or smarter than others? Is he acting out as an attention-seeking device? -

 See more at: http://www.parenting.org/questions-and-answers/ten-year-old-stealing-and-being-dishonest-at-school#sthash.l6NzyjEP.dpuf

You may also want to have your son speak with a counselor about these concerns to help him to understand why he is doing this.

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