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mgreenl
mgreenl asks:
Q:

My 8yr constantly hates me and argues with me

So since me and my ex have seperated in 2009 my daughter has never liked me she would rather be at her dads house and i have dated since then and i know some of them havent been the best choices. but how do i get my daughter to like me again. it seems im never doing anything right. Im not dating and its just me and her when I have her. with spilt houses its hard becasue her dad can give her more things then i can. me and her father get along and have a great relationship for our daughter. please help me to find a way so i can have a great relationship with my daughter before it is too late.
In Topics: Discipline and behavior challenges
> 60 days ago

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Expert

Boys Town National Hotline
Mar 2, 2014
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What the Expert Says:

It sounds like your daughter is angry because you and her father are separated, and it sounds like she is taking it out on you (which is not okay).

We encourage you to teach your daughter how to appropriately express and deal with her feelings and emotions.  On our website www.parenting.org we have listed specific steps on how to teach her this.  Also, it is very important to make sure she earns consequences when she says hurtful things to you or when she argues with you.  What we mean by consequences are loss of privileges (TV, games, toys, computer, etc.) or doing extra chores around the house.

Please keep in mind that it takes two people to argue.  If you are tired of arguing with her, try taking another approach.  When you give her an instruction, tell her no, or whatever triggers an argument, stop her right there.  Let her know that she is arguing and for arguing, she has earned a consequence.  If she continues to argue, do not get into content with her.  Tell her that the conversation is over, you are done talking, and then walk away.

You have to be patient because her behaviors will not change overnight.  It will take a lot of hard work consistency on your part to change her behaviors.

We hope that you find these suggestions and advice helpful.  Please take care and remember that you can call the Boys Town National Hotline 24 hours a day at the number below, free of charge to discuss any parenting issue.  We are here to help, you are not alone!

Chris, Counselor

Boys Town National Hotline
1-800-448-3000
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