Kidcats asks:

Why is my 9 year old so shy?

I have a nine year old daughter who is very happy overall. We have a close relationship and a positive one. Until last year she was very comfortable with herself and changing her clothes or taking a bath was not something that had to be private in her eyes and I was OK with this. Last year, seemingly from one day to the next she became extremely private, I went to help her change her clothes as I did so many times before and she abruptly told me not to help her, pulling my hand away from her shirt, as I walked out the room and had the door slammed behind me. I thought: "OK, that was sudden." and accepted that maybe she is starting to be more private and I can respect that.
However, it never subsided and she is a bit extreme about it at this point. She has a Dr's appt. next week with a dermatologist and she cried about it because she is afraid she will need to take her shirt off and doesn't want to.
I have explained that there is nothing wrong with her body to be so shy and asked her the dreaded questions of :"Did something happen that made you feel uncomfortable". Nothing comes out other than: "I just get an weird feeling and I don't like it" all while sobbing.Is it normal for a nine year old to cry like this? She also still locks her door when changing and will not use the changing room at the YMCA unless she can be in a private locking stall. She is not yet going through any puberty changes so I am not sure what I can do to help her feel more comfortable. Please help.
In Topics: My child's growth and development
> 60 days ago



Jul 3, 2014
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What the Expert Says:

Hello and thank you for writing to JustAsk!

Shyness about your body is typical for tweens.  If concerned please consider discussing this with your local school guidance counselor.

Good websites and books:
The Care and Keeping of You - a book about your growing body by Schaefer from the  American Doll series

Good luck

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