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Mommy0003
Mommy0003 asks:
Q:

9 year old step daughter and not listening

So I'm having serious issues, my ex and I share a daughter who is now just four an my current bf has his own daughter who is nine and we now have a new addition who is one. Now my problem start with my nine year old step daughter she is a serious daddy's girl" and will only listen to her daddy and no one else! I repeat NO OnE else!!!
Her daddy dosnt realize or seem to think she is in the wrong and he babies her! Which is so difficult! She looks at me with a stair down if I ask for her to do something, or she will tell me to wait, or she will cry until her daddy asks me what do I need her to do and why! Ugh I'm so flustered I feel like blowing up. Not to mention if I tell her dad my bf that I think she needs work on manners or listening he reams me a new butt hole HELPPP
In Topics: Discipline and behavior challenges
> 60 days ago

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Expert

Boys Town National Hotline
Feb 28, 2014
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What the Expert Says:

The best advice we can give you is to teach her how to follow instructions, and then practice the skill with her.  The steps to following instructions are 1. Look at the person, 2. Say "ok", 3. Do what is asked of you, and 4. Check back when you are done.  Teach this skill during a neutral time and make it fun for her.  When she does not follow your instruction, make sure she earns a consequence such as loss of privileges (TV, toys, games, etc.).  

Make sure you let her father know what your plans are to change her behaviors.  Also, remind him that he is setting her up to fail because there are going to be other adults (teachers, coaches, bosses, babysitters) that will give her instructions, and she will have to follow them.  

CA, Crisis Counselor
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Boys Town National Hotline
The best advice we can give you is to teach her how to follow instructions, and then practice the skill with her.  The steps to following instructions are 1. Look at the person, 2. Say "ok", 3. Do what is asked of you, and 4. Check back when you are done.  Teach this skill during a neutral time and make it fun for her.  When she does not follow your instruction, make sure she earns a consequence such as loss of privileges (TV, toys, games, etc.).  

Make sure you let her father know what your plans are to change her behaviors.  Also, remind him that he is setting her up to fail because there are going to be other adults (teachers, coaches, bosses, babysitters) that will give her instructions, and she will have to follow them.  

CA, Crisis Counselor
> 60 days ago

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