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12345abcde
12345abcde asks:
Q:

What can I do when an adult is bullying/slander my 13 year old?

My daughter ("dot") had a sleepever and didn't invite 2 friends. These girls perceived this as being mean and leaving them out. The moms flipped their lids. Started complaining and telling everyone, with extreme embellishment, about how my dot is such a horrible, mean girl. The mom will not let this go and continues to slander my dot at every turn. The mom is a substitute teacher/heavy volunteer at school and well loved. I have gone to admin. about this but they don't seem to believe that she would do that. I don't have proof. Only things that I've heard from other kids and parents, but no one wants to get involved. It's to the point that the sports admin. (was told only one side of story) at school is lecturing the "class" about not being mean to classmates and not leaving anyone out. My dot has in no way been mean to these girls at school and even sits with them at lunch and talks constantly to them. What/who my dot decides to do things with after school is none of the schools business. Another mom who doesn't have a child that was involved or even in my dot's grade, was taking her child and another child (my dot's friend) home from school and was heard telling her son that he could have done so much better for a prayer patner than "my dot" and that she's not a very nice girl at all. horrible things being said by adults and kids alike) but I can't name them all. What recourse do I have? I just don't know what to do. I'm afraid depession may set in. She's very sensitive.
In Topics: Bullying and teasing
> 60 days ago

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Expert

EdieRaether
Dec 15, 2011
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What the Expert Says:

We can't invite the entire world to a party.  Like planning a wedding...we all have a cutoff point.  Parents are often more the issue.  I would try to get someone to facilitate a meeting of the minds.   My book suggests that
schools implement a conflict resolution program which would be good for this school to have.  Have your daughter learn some problem solving skills
by coaching her on how to let the girls know she was only allowed so many
guests and maybe do something special with just them.  The other girls need to know that non intentional exclusion is not rejection.  I would look at this as a teachable moment.
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Additional Answers (2)

momosan1
momosan1 writes:
You never mentioned that you have confronted this mom yourself? Why not? And not to say this is not happening, but kids are very different when they are away from their parents. How do you know your daughter has not said something in reference to not inviting the two girls? I think there is more to this story.
> 60 days ago

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roselina23
roselina23 writes:
wow that is bad but i think u should talk to your daughter alone about this
> 60 days ago

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