newblendedf... asks:

New Blended Family

My boyfriend and I just blended our families 6 months ago. I have 2 and he has 2. I'm really struggling with the differences in our parenting styles. I tend to be pretty strict. My boyfriends wife is passed so they have not had a female figure in their lives for many years. I'm struggling because now 6 months into it I'm not seeing behaviors change the way I thought they would. His children are not required to say please and thank you (at 6 and 8). They demand rather than ask adults for things and when they lie  or do something wrong there is little punishment. When I came in to the picture he encouraged me to treat his kids like my kids. He liked that I have certain expectations of good behavior and respect. However, now I am finding that I am always the "Evil Step-mother". I'm always having to fight with them about things. He doesn't take the lead on discipline. When a punishment is doled out many times I find him bending the rules with the kids. For instance, his daughter has TV taken away for purposefully destroying property of the daycare provider's when she was upset about something. I had to run to the store when I came back they were playing on the computer together. I find myself already being resentful. I feel this is the time for me bond with them, not constantly on them to use good manners or to explain why we must brush our teeth daily. Any advice on how to approach this?
In Topics: Blended families
> 60 days ago



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