What do you do if your boyfriend or friend that is a boy wants to have sex with you and he won't quit asking you for it?

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Vamp_girl6 , Student asks:

My guy-friend keeps asking me for sex, and I've already told him no that I'm not going to give it to him, and he won't quit asking me. I'm starting to feel like thats all he wants in a girl, even though I know that that's not how he is. He's just doing that because he wants to show off to all the guys that he hangs out with. What do I do to get him to quit asking me???

Member Added on Dec 11, 2009

He's only 15 and we're JUST friends and nothing more. I mean yes, we dated at one time but we've been REALLY good friends ever since.

In Topics: Teen issues, Teen sexuality and dating

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Boys Town National Hotline

Jan 27, 2010

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What the Expert Says:

Your guy friend is not showing you the type of respect you should require from a friend or even an acquaintance or even a stranger. Let him know that you would like to talk to him privately. Set up an official meeting time and place to help him understand that you are serious and would like his full attention.

Once you are meeting, while it might not be easy, explain to him that you are concerned that he doesn't seem to be taking your request to stop asking you for sex as valid. State that you would like for him to respect you by not discussing the topic again and that if he does ask you for sex that you will no longer consider him a friend.

This type of response should help deliver the message very clearly. If he still doesn't get it, it is time to cross him off your list of friends.

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Dec 11, 2009

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Well, if you really don't care to be his friend especially if he treats you that way, then just cut all connections; with him. If you really do care about being his friend and what not then ask him about, if that doesn't work then take the first advice, and cut all connections, because like a lawyer boys ask the same question in differet ways to get the answer they want. So try those two and see what happens if you cut connections he would probably wonder why and stop to keep your friendship if you talk to him and he doesn't care. HE REALLY DOESN"T CARE! Try to find someone else we have so much time! I'm 14 and my boyfriend is 15 he doesn't ask me anything like that because he knows we are to young he is in the 10th grade and I'm in the 8th and he never takes me for granted. There are good young guys out there not all of them think about sex.

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Additional Answers (14)

humb writes:

stick with what u told him. when he see you are not going to give in, he will finnaly give up. You are doing the right thang. If you give in you will regret it down the road. Im proud of you. Thank God there are still girls how can say no.

> 60 days ago

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Loddie1 , Parent writes:

That is all he wants in a girl. It is so important for you to realize this at your age. MOST guys only want to have sexual relations at this point in their lives (teenage years). The reason for this is because they are hormonally so. Their hormones are what is driving them to be like this ( maybe some peer pressure too). You are doing great by telling him no. It is now time for him to respect that answer and stop. If he does not, then he is harassing you and this is not acceptable behavior. So please continue to be assertive and if he tries anything funny, you may want to let a parent or teacher know. Good luck!!

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dgraab , Parent writes:

It's really important that you talk to your parent(s) and/or doctor about this. It's great that you're looking for help, and I urge you to talk to a health professional and your parent(s) in person, so you can get the help you need to address this issue.

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mariah8227 writes:

talk to him alone and tell him to cut it out. tell him that it makes you uncomfortable when he talks like that and tell him what you have decided to do if he doesnt quit asking you. maybey he is not that kind of person, and he really is a good friend, but just wants to be popular... if so then he should agree with you to leave it alone and ask someone else

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spudmommy writes:

oh lord, the 15 year old boy. Guys stay this way until their probably 40 BUT regardless he's harassing you. Plain and simple. There are guys who will respect your choice so remember that when you decide if his friendship is that important to keep. Personally, now that I've dated my share and am now married, don't waste your time with him. I understand it's not going to be that easy to cut off a friendship with the complications of groups of friends, but just remember you have to be more persistent than him. I'm wondering about how aggressive he actually is. Just be a little weary, if there's drinking involved (which there shouldn't be! you're not 21! ;) ) don't put yourself in a situation to be taken advantage of.

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alice18 writes:

well if I was you I wouldn't talk to him if he keeps asking and tell that your not interest in havig sex with just put it to him that he's not getting any from you.

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MM21 writes:

Tell him that this is your decision! If he is pressuring you, and trying to get, he's going to have to go find a girl who will give herself away to any guy who asks. He is looking for someone easy, and it is up to you whether you want to do that or not! He needs to move on and get over himself.

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BigSis writes:

Stick to your guns and keep telling him no. You should never let anyone pressure you into something you don't want to do. If he doesn't listen to you, then he definitely is not a good friend or person to be hanging around with.

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mleano8 , Student writes:

Maybe you need to be more clear...I don't know the exact dynamic of your guys' relationship but it sounds like he may not take your "no's" seriously. You might need to be a little more firm on your "no's" and let him know you mean it. some girls (not saying you at all) will give the playful "no" but in reality they enjoy the attention and so the boy will keep at...sometimes culminating into potentially bad situation. Be firm and let him know...not gonna happen buddy. Use words like "buddy" or "pal" ....those sting a little bit and help guys realize they are in the friend-zone.

If he is truly a REALLY good friend, he'll respect your decision not to oblige him and ya'll can continue being friends. If not, you two may need to reassess your friendship and figure out what each other really wants out of each other's company.

yeah,yeah!

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HopefullySe... writes:

I'm 18 and have had that problem many times.. if he is really oyur friend sit him down and talk to him and explain "hey it makes me feel like your not listening to me when you keep asking me. Can you please stop?" if you make it clear how you feel if he is really your friend and not just trying to get it he will stop.. otherwise some people are better left alone in the end girl.. i know it might be hard but its sometimes worth it..

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Marebear , Student writes:

I understand that this is an awkward place for you. Even though he's your friend, you need to give him an ultimatum. Just tell him what you think. You should try talking to your mom. She can help you too. Good luck

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TheChosenOn... writes:

I've dealt with the same thing.
My guy friend kept bugging me, What I did was I had to tell him these things:
"Look, I don't want to have sex with you. That's the end of the discussion. If you can't get that through your head, I'll sock it in there. So, Stop asking. I enjoy being your friend, and I don't want to loose our friendship, so, We'll leave it as being friends, But I'm sorry. I'm not having sex with you. That's the end."

Give the answer to him straight out there. Even if he keeps asking for it, You need to give him a good hit in the face, Or a smack. Either works, But I advise to get help from an adult. Tell his parents, Tell guidance about the trouble he's causing. Get help from adults, Because guys, If they don't get their ways, they'll gang up on you and it all ends up by getting raped. I suggest getting help ; And Fast!

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