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ihatemyself108
ihatemyself... asks:
Q:

My Boyfriend is ready to have a sexual relatioship, but im not sure if im ready yet, but i dont want him to feel like i dont love him. help?

I dont want my boufriend to break up with me cause i wont have sex with him im only 13 im soooo confused?
In Topics: Teen sexuality and dating
> 60 days ago

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Expert

Boys Town National Hotline
Apr 18, 2012
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What the Expert Says:

A good boy isn't going to break up with you because you don't want to have sex.  Stick to your guns.  This is actually a good test for him.  If he breaks up with you because you won't have sex with him, then he's not a good guy.  You definitely don't want to have sex just because you're afraid you'll lose him.  Let's look at this logically: do you think, twenty years down the road, you'll be married to this guy?  There's a good chance you guys won't be dating for long anyway, so it's not worth it to have sex.

Stick to your beliefs and gut feeling.  You're on the right track!

MKM, Counselor
Boys Town National Hotline
1-800-448-3000
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Additional Answers (13)

ctasc
ctasc writes:
Don't do it.  You are too young to have sex.
> 60 days ago

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bineyser
bineyser , Student writes:
you can try saying yes or just...be honest.
> 60 days ago

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djorlo
djorlo writes:
Maybe he should worry about whether or not  you will break up with him because he is demanding sex!  If you don't want to, you don't want to.  That should be the end of the story.  Why are his wants more important than yours?
> 60 days ago

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djorlo
djorlo writes:
Why are his wants more important than yours?  Maybe he should worry about whether you will break up with him instead of the other way around.  Stick to your principles.  If you aren't ready, you aren't ready...end of story!
> 60 days ago

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hollow
hollow writes:
be honest.
> 60 days ago

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hollow
hollow writes:
oh yeah I'm still bineyser i just changed it.
> 60 days ago

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KiaHood
KiaHood writes:
Hey! Whatever you do, always be true to you.  If you are not ready then by all means never put yourself in a position that will jereprodize who you are.  Also, remember there are all kinds of consequences that come with having sex.  There are things like HIV, AIDS, Herpes, and even pregrenency.  You have your whole life ahead of you.  Love yourself, enjoy being a teen.  If he breaks up with you, it will be fine. someone who respects you will come along and honor you for what you desire. I pray you make the right decision.
> 60 days ago

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cherryrodriguez
cherryrodri... writes:
Do not do anything you are not ready for. If he really loves you he will not force you to do something you are not ready for. He will wait for you untill you are ready. If he  breaks up with you because you are not ready then he really did'nt love you and you can do better. Always do what is right for you don't let anyone force you into anything that you are not ready for. Hope this helps you make the right choice.
> 60 days ago

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bosookkang
bosookkang writes:
Please take my word serious. I am advising as a woman and mother of 3 year old girl. My advise is "do not associate with him any longer." If he really loves you, he should be able to wait for the right time, which is the time when he can propose to marry you! the time when he promises to endure everything because he loves you. The same principle goes to women.
> 60 days ago

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christinasutula
christinasu... writes:
you need too take one step at a time. he will understand if he loves you back.
i understand.
> 60 days ago

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Cheeseplease123
Cheesepleas... writes:
You are too young! he is being a jerk asking you to have sex with him or he will break up with you....HE IS A TOTAL JERK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Believe I am one year older than u
> 60 days ago

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Jenakem
Jenakem writes:
u are only 13 sex should notbe on your list of priorities for now. If your boyfriend really loves you then he will see reasons with you. Always remember that no one can make you do what you are not ok with. As long as you don't want to, don't
> 60 days ago

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Gookers
Gookers writes:
OMG!! if your not ready you ARE NOT READY! A real boyfriend would respect you and would NOT want you to do anything your uncomfortable with. If he breaks up with you because you don't want to have sex with him all he wants in your guys relationship is to get into your pants...believe me I've had loads of experience of this stuff and it sucks. Plus i believe you said you are only in 7th grade and in 7th grade you really don't have a clear understanding of what a true relationship includes. You should wait to have sex when you are at least a junior in high school because you will have a better understanding of relationships, love, and sex or even better wait till your married but most likely that wont happen. No worries if you have sex early but 7th grade? I'm sorry, I totally disagree about you guys having a sexual relationship. And to not have sex with the person you like (or love)  doesn't mean you don't like (or love) them..your partner should understand will a whole heart and not put any pressure on you if you don't want to do that yet or even not do it at all. If he breaks up with you or makes you feel guilty because you wont have sex with him he is sooooo NOT worth it! It might be hard to just break up with him because of this but it will be for the best I promise you! It might even take you months to get over him but in the end it is the best thing you could've done for yourself. I really really really hope i made a difference or even helped you! if i did i would like to know it but idk how to find that out. Please just think about it and wait to have sex. You may think I'm being over exaggerating or over protective about this whole situation but really I'm not and I am not lying about being in your exact place a few times. Be strong and do what your heart tells you to do not what someone elses tells you to do.
> 60 days ago

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