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MamaRaye
MamaRaye asks:
Q:

"Bullying in School & Online" refers to "resistance techniques." Can you describe a specific technique--beyond saying "Stop"--when being teased?

My daughter is being teased and has said, "Stop" and told the teacher. The girl gets in trouble when my daughter tells the teacher, but then she does it the next day. My daughter's also been kicked at the playground but refuses to fight back because she's been taught that fighting is wrong, but I'm afraid that if she doesn't, she'll be marked as a target. Any advice?
In Topics: Bullying and teasing
> 60 days ago

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Expert

Boys Town National Hotline
Apr 5, 2012
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What the Expert Says:

Bullying is a tricky problem and there is no one answer that will work all the time.  That is why we want students to be equipped with a bunch of different things that they can do to either prevent bullying or stop it when it occurs.  Here are some things to try...

-Walk away
-Hang around a teacher because bullies typically will not bully when teachers are around
-Make a joke about it
-Be really nice to the bully, compliment them
-Change the subject
-Ignore them

These are all things to try that may or may not work.  One thing we do know about bullying is that it is frequently more effectively prevented when bystanders (those who are not the bully or the target) get involved in the situation.  We encourage you to have your daughter get some friends to help her out.  Here are some things her friends can try.

-Have them tell the bully to stop
-Have them change the subject
-Have them invite the target to go elsewhere
-Have them report to the teacher while it is happening so the teacher can catch the bullies in the act

I wish I could tell you an intervention for bullying that would stop it everytime, but there is no such thing.  What is important is to continue to problem solve the problem, continue to report it too the school even if it seems as though they are doing nothing, and continue to provide children with positive environments where they feel as though they belong.  If school isn't the place a church group, after school club, or neighborhood friends could make a huge difference.  

Continue to problem solve, report and talk to other parents about what you can do to change the environment at the school.  Also feel free to call our hotline whenever you need, we are here to help!

Counselor, Dominic
Boys Town National Hotline: A resource for parents and teens
1-800-448-3000
www.parenting.org

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