I understand your concerns about your 3 yr. old possibly having ADHD because of what her father has experienced. It's very normal for a 3 yr. old to have lots of energy, be very inquisitive about their surroundings, and be unwilling to sit quietly for a long period of time. It's tough, however, to tell at the age of 3 whether her behavior is "normal" 3 yr. old behavior, or if there is something more going on.
 
You have a few options. Continue to explain to her using simple language what you expect of her and tell her when she is acting inappropriately. Even if she doesn't respond exactly the way you want, she does hear what you are saying. Because of her age, I would recommend using a more behavioral approach. Children in that age group respond well to some type of token system. Pick an activity, special snack, sticker, or toy that she can choose from every time she performs a certain task well, or follows instructions that are given to her. Also, take away one of those things when she doesn't do what is expected of her. Positive reinforcement will be far more effective than punishment, so focus on her good behaviors. In addition to something tangible, be sure that you are giving her lots of verbal praise when she performs well. Be as consistent as you can and remember that it will take some time for her behaviors to change.
 
If you feel like you need her behavior to be assessed further, consult a child psychologist as to what the next step would be. If you need referrals for an agency that may be able to help you in getting your daughter assessed, please feel free to call our toll-free hotline 24/7.
 
Boys Town National Hotline
1-800-448-3000