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wondernmom
wondernmom asks:
Q:

my child is clingy with the day care provider when i go to pick him up. Is there something wrong with this?

In Topics: Discipline and behavior challenges
> 60 days ago

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chubbyl3l3
chubbyl3l3 writes:
Thank God he is clingy to someone who probably loves him more than you. Mothers make more excuses as to why they need to work full days and pawn their children off to "Day Care Centers", what a disgrace.  My heart bleeds to think of all the kids who are yanked out of bed even sick sometimes and hauled off to day care in icy cold weather or horribly hot weather.  You shouldn't be a parent.  Poor little child brought into this world to be tortured.  He needs a stable home and parents.  You won't heed this advice, too bad.
> 60 days ago

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EdEd
EdEd writes:
Seeing now that this question was posted 53 days ago, so not sure if you are still checking this wondernmom, but I wanted to respond both the chubbyl3l3's comments and to your initial question, if it's still relevant after 53 days!

First, in response to chubbyl3l3's comments, there is no research to support a claim that good child care is bad for children. Bad child care is bad for children, but so is bad parenting. In short, good daycare is a good thing. It seems that chubbyl3l3 has some strong moral views related to childcare, but I'd remind you - wondernmom - that those are views of chubbyl3l3, and many others would disagree.

In terms of the original question, the clinginess isn't automatically good or bad - depends on the reasons behind it. It could be that your son is excited to have a new adult friend and is expressing affection, or could be that he was in the middle of a fun activity and didn't want to leave. Do you have any sense of why it's happening? Answering the "why" question is usually first step in the equation. If you're still checking in, it might be helpful to have more information.

Good luck!
> 60 days ago

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JeanneBrockmyer
JeanneBrock... writes:
It depends on how old your child is.  Many younger children, say less than 4, can have trouble transitioning between situations and so being a bit clingy may be expected.  From 4 to about 6 some children still have difficulty moving from one situation to another.  So, a bit of clinginess might just be a normal developmental phase.  On the other hand, it's not a bad idea for you to think about how you are handling the transition between day care and going home.  I remember being a rushed mom myself, trying to get home from work to cook dinner and picking up my child on the way from work to basically more work.  At times I know I should have been more patient with a child who wanted to show me something she'd been doing or just take her time finishing up an activity. So think about that, too.  
It would be unusual for this to mean something negative about the day care provider, but if the clinginess persists you might want to have a specific conversation with this person about what her expectations are for your child, especially in the area of independence, and how their day goes.  Ideally, your expectations and hers will be very similar.
It's definitely a good sign that you are asking this question!

Jeanne H. Brockmyer, Ph. D.
education.com expert clinical child psychologist
> 60 days ago

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