Do you allow your child or teen to attend co-ed sleepovers? Why or why not?

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education.com asks:

Please include the age and gender of your child or teen in sharing your responses. Thanks!

More information about the co-ed sleepover debate (and other parent opinions) can be found here:

Losing Sleep Over Coed Sleepovers?
http://www.education.com/magazine/article/Coed_...

In Topics: Teen issues, Friendships and peer relationships, Sleep and rest

> 60 days ago

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Dr.Susan

Apr 3, 2010

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What the Expert Says:

At young ages, I would not recommend co-ed sleepovers if they are one one-to-one--there's too much opportunity for curious play of each other's bodies once the lights are out and the adults have gone to sleep. If it is a party, they are fine if the boys and girls sleep separately and they are very well monitored until everyone is fast asleep!

After about eleven-years old, the same rule applies for one-to-one sleepovers; for parties/group sleep overs, I'd suggest that unless you are willing to stay awake the entire night to monitor the activity, you avoid the co-ed sleepover. Older kids tend to stay awake for many hours at sleepovers.

Teens in particular are clearly at high risk for sexual activity during a co-ed sleepover, unless you separate the boys and girls and monitor them to make sure there is no sneaking around during the night.

Remember, other parents entrust their kids to you to make sure that you keep them safe--this means more than avoiding bumps and bruises!

Dr. Susan Bartell
JustAsk Expert
www.drsusanbartell.com
Twitter @drsusanbartell
NEW book! "The Top 50 Questions Kids Ask"

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Additional Answers (3)

cujofprince writes:

I tend to use double standards when dealing with my children. My son just recently turned eighteen, and has always been allowed to have sleepovers at friendsâ�� homes. Although, now that he is of age, I have started to keep a closer look at the company he hangs around. I can't say the same for my fourteen year old daughter. To date, she has had only one sleepover at friends' home(s), and that was after a long debate in which she went on crying for minutes on-end, and complaining on how I don't allow her to have a life. It would still be very difficult, the next time she asks to go to another sleepover. It's most likely that the answer would be "no." I have to play that give and take, and would have to evaluate the family whose house my daughter would be spending the night. I can never tell how I would respond, but it would greatly depend on how well I know the friend's parent and how well she had been doing in school, leading up to the sleepover.

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suse writes:

No i wont tell i get to know the family and hwt there like

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anengineers... writes:

For our children who are 12 and 13 it depends if we communicate with the parent(s) of where they are staying........we communicate as much as we can and are as honest as we can with them with our children.

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