hello asks:

How can I communicate with my unruly granddaughter without having it become a screaming match?

my grandchild is 6 years old, adopted and she knows this. she still has contact with the nana that her mother  left her with.  my problem is when she stays with me i try to schedule things to do go to the park ride bikes etc. she will be fine as long as she gets her way. with any off play time she will start to tell me screaming I WANT TO GO TO MY NANAS i have known her longer than you. you are not going to heaven with us cause you dont go to church. etc. anything i say becomes a screaming match with her. any suggs?
In Topics: My child's grandparent(s)
> 60 days ago


Answers (1)

It-takes-a-... writes:
I can understand the frustration and heartache this must be causing for you. I am wondering if "nana" might have said anything to your granddaughter that is non-supportive to your new role with her. I say this because most six years old do not have the full understanding of whose going to hell for a lack of church attendance, unless of course they are being coached. And some of these other comments seem indicitive to a child who is hearing conflicting messages from others. And the sad fact is that there could be some underlying jealousy from "nana", who is feeling threatened by your involvement. Is "nana" someone that can be approached in regards to your concerns? Also, your grandchild is not too young to have a heart to heart. I might tell her that despite how she may think she feels about you, you love her no matter what and are not going to give up on the relationship. In time, (unless there is a strong outside influence) you both may be able to enjoy a very close relationship.  I commend you for what you're trying to do in this little girl's life. Good luck...it takes a village.
> 60 days ago

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