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thebreathinmylungs
thebreathin... asks:
Q:

I cut myself, and a few of my friends know about it. My friend talked to the counselor. I don't want my parents to know and I don't know what to do.

I've been cutting myself since 6th grade. On and off. I cut because it takes away the pain for a little while, it makes me feel better. I don't know why. I have an Instagram account, and it's where you post pictures of stuff. I posted pictures of my cuts, and "depressing," pictures. Then some of my friends started getting Instagram. I deleted pretty much all of the pictures that were of my cuts, and I gave them my username. They followed me. They said my account was depressing, but I didn't really care. Then it was about midnight one night. One of my friends who was following me looked at all of my pictures because she was bored. I realized I didn't delete some of the older pictures of my cuts, and a lot of my pictures were "depressing" and suicidal. It really bothered one of my friends. She freaked out a lot. That was over Christmas break. When we got back to school, she told the counselor. I got a note to go to the counselor on Friday. It was in my last hour, and I was really freaked out, but I just walked around the school and went back to class, not to the counselor. My friend said the counselor said that she would talk to me and my parents. But my parents can't know. My dad found out a year ago and he yelled at me. He was really mad and he made me show him and yelled "You DO NOT cut yourself." I cried. And it became a scar. After a while I continued cutting. Now it's Sunday. Will the counselor check me for cuts? My other friend told me to lie. Maybe. What do I do?
In Topics: Teen issues, Cutting
> 60 days ago

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tiffanymartinrt
tiffanymart... writes:
I honestly believe you need to talk to someone about this.  Find someone you can trust (a teacher, a family member, a pastor) and just be honest about what is going on.  Do not hide anything, that doesn't help.  Cutting is very serious.  My heart definitly goes out to you and I wonder why you feel such a strong need to hurt yourself.  Who has hurt you?  Please find someone to talk to.  My daughter used to cut herself.  I didn't understand why, but we talked and talked about it.  We got her some help.  She still struggles, but she is at least able to overcome the battle with cutting.  We lifted her up in prayer and put her in God's hands. We will do the same for you.
> 60 days ago

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judy_h
judy_h writes:
Hi there,

I'm so sorry to hear that you feel this way. You have taken a great first step by reaching out for help, and I am proud of you for that. However, an online community cannot provide all of the support you need. Here are a few things you can and should do to get the help that you deserve:

-Call a National Suicide Hotline (it's free, confidential, and 24/7): 1-800-DONT-CUT
-Talk to a trusted adult (teacher, counselor, parent, etc.) They will help you find support, and get you to a therapist or trained professional.
-If you ever feel that your life is in immediate danger, call 911 immediately.

My heart goes out to you, and I wish you the very best. Please get help from an adult as soon as possible.

Judy
Community Team
> 60 days ago

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VWMomma
VWMomma , Parent writes:
I am sorry you are having to go through this, but know it's a semi-normal thing many kids experience, so there are lots of people who can help.
I understand the urge, while I never actually cut myself, the urge was there most of high school. I chose to write short stories, poetry and such to get out my pain. That may or may not work for you.

But not talking about it won't make it better, the feelings you are trying to address by cutting need to be talked out. With someone, anyone you can trust.

Also, while I usually feel that you should talk to your parents, your dad's previous reactions sounds like that might not be best until you get a little further down the road. So an anonymous hotline might be best for you until you are read for a candid conversation with your folks.
> 60 days ago

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JeanneBaxley0725
JeanneBaxle... , Parent writes:
As a counselor, parent and someone that has experienced the same issues I would like to help in some way.  Just by your message I can tell that you probably do not have parents that understand and especially if your father's response was to just yell at you then this means you have no support system.  For someone that is in pain whether it is emotional or physical it is so important to have a support system.  I know that you stated you started this in the 6th grade which tells me that things were bad for you at an early age and even though you did not state how old you are now it is important that you understand it is great to have a good friend but with a situation like this it is not best for them to be your total support system.  If you fear going to the counselor at school because they are going to tell your parents then please gain the courage to stand up for yourself and tell the counselor that you are afraid of what your parents are going to do and also that they do not know how to communicate properly and also that they have no idea how to be your support system.  If this counselor still cannot help with this information then it is time to look for someone else.  Remember that this counselor is there to help you and not to blame you and remember that also with your parents.  Most people that I talk with, I ask them to read a book called "Toxic Parents" and this is not to blame your parents for your problems but to be aware that you probably do the things that you do because of the way you were raised and when you have that understanding it makes everything else easier to understand.  Also, you need to realize that this problem is going to take work on your part.  What you are doing is called self medicating and what that means is when things are painful for you then you think that this is going to take away the pain when in reality, you are only making things worse by not finding the cause of the problem.  Finding the cause of the problem and fixing that will help you to see why you are in pain and learn how to deal with that pain in a healthy manner. I used to counsel people on the internet for free and I would love to help in any way that I can.  There is a note here that states to not give out any personal information but if you would like to get in touch with me maybe you can send back a message or like I mentioned I used to have a website under the name LifeReBuilders but no longer and only have email through AOL.  So if you need help just put the two together and I hope this has helped in someway.
> 60 days ago

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shaunabvb
shaunabvb writes:
I am in the same situation everyone at my school knows I'm afraid they'll tell and that the teachers will ring my parents and my parents I know they won't understand me they'll take everything of me and ground me forever Iwant Help but I don't know where to get it
> 60 days ago

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TeenageDreamer
TeenageDrea... writes:
Im in a situation a bit like yours, i cut and am depressed ect ect and people found about my private instagram account and one girl has been spreading rumours about me so its even more depressing. My parents have no idea i cut. One of my friends knows i have depression but thats all she knows and another two friends know everything, but not about my account, then a fellow instagram depressed cutter i talk to on kik knows absolutely everything she knows my life, and i trust her with it :)
I would highly recomend finding someone on instagram in the same position as you to talk to on kik, because they will be really supportive and you can be supportive too.
Also have a look at Childline, i think its UK based but im pretty aure you can still go on the website even if you arent from the UK. They have counsellors you can talk with online, message boards, games, videos and advice which is actuallu quite good :)
Wish you all the best for recovery x
> 60 days ago

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Bubblygirl373
Bubblygirl373 writes:
You should show them and try to get help because it only it get worst not better if you keep hiding it inside and stuff and sooner or later you will try to kill your self and no one wants that for you and did you know when you cut it doesn't only hurt you it hurts others
> 60 days ago

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dejia23
dejia23 writes:
I think you should talk about because I do the same thing my friends told an now in not in school and I have to go to a mental hospital and a psychologist and they will determine if I go back to school or not buts not bad as it sounds after they told my mom everyone came to me and said I love you and it made me think if I do accidentally cut a vain I could die and all this people would care I bet you are talented beautiful girl and they are people on this earth that care about you To much for you I die over some stupid cutting and if you feel unloved just remember you can't love anyone unless you  love yourself fist
> 60 days ago

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AmazingAbby
AmazingAbby writes:
An anonymous hotline would be the best option right now. I would not lie to the counselor, just tell him/her that you've had a rough time in the past and right now you're trying to work through it on your own and that telling your parents would make everything worse and ruin the progress you've made. That way, the counselor might see it your way and you can work through it until you're ready to take the next step, which might be talking to a teacher or counselor. Then, when you're ready, tell your parents, and if you need to, go to a therapist. It may not seem to help at first, in fact, it might feel like it's making it worse, but eventually it really does work.
And about your dad's reaction: he's not trying to be mean or trying to make it worse. He's just scared. Scared that it's his fault somehow, confused as to why this is happening to you, and worried that you're hurting yourself. Above all, he's terrified out of his mind that this will lead to suicide. He loves you, and he's scared out of his wits that he's gonna lose his kid. So don't think he's mad at you, he's just scared and worried and he didn't know what to do.
> 60 days ago

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DJzebra
DJzebra writes:
I'm whole heartedly praying for you and I have a few tips that can help. First of all think about why you are depressed. Think "is it worth it to cut myself for"? Then tell a person like your favorite teacher or a relative you can trust. I have gone through the urge to do this and and I've prayed to God that he would help me and he did. Tell your teacher/relative about how you feel before you tell the counselor so they won't make a even bigger deal out of it.
> 60 days ago

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Anonymous....
Anonymous.... writes:
The same exact thing happened to me. I posted it on instagram, and one of my friends found out and told the school and her mom. I was furious. I told my mom before the school could tell her, and she wasn't mad. She was just disappointed... and then I started getting mad at her for no reason, I guess it was because I didn't want her to know. But then my "Friend" who told the school went around telling EVERYBODY. It's making me miserable...  and after a while I started doing it again. But my mom doesn't know... she came into my room after I made some fresh cuts. (She didn't see them, luckily, even though I was wearing short sleeves, I put a blanket over) and she asked to see my scars. I said OK and put my arm out. She examined it and said "Promise me you'll never do that again?" I promised, but I was crossing my fingers. She looked at my other arm, and luckily I hid them well, but she still seemed suspicious. I would just tell everyone the truth, but only show them the old scars, nobody has to know you're still doing it. You can tell your friends, but only the trustworthy ones. Just wait for it all to blow over. It will eventually.
> 60 days ago

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