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worried1997
worried1997 asks:
Q:

I found cuts on my sisters wrists

Since 8th grade my sister started wearing black band tees a lot and styling her hair differently. I didn't think much of it at first but then recently I saw scars all over her left wrist. Me and my mom have tried to talk to her a million times, but she just cried and doesn't say anything. My mom has tried to talk to her individually and I'm not sure what happens but I know that every time my mom will come away crying. My sister is seeing a councilor, but it's not helping much. My mom was sexually abused as a child and she suspects that my sister might have as well, but I doubt it. I'm just not sure what's wrong with her lately and my mom is pregnant and I fear all of this isn't good for her. I am also very scared for my sister that she will cut too deep one day. Please PLEASE help me!
In Topics: Teen issues, Cutting, Discipline and behavior challenges
> 60 days ago

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Expert

Boys Town National Hotline
Feb 24, 2014
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What the Expert Says:

It's easy to see that you are a caring sister.  Have you told your sister that you are worried about her?  Sometimes when someone is hurting it helps just to know that someone is thinking about you.  Some people self-harm to cope.  That pain reminds them that they can feel or gives them a rush of relief.  You are right though, she could hurt herself more than she intends too. It's OK to let her know you care about her and value her.  A lot of times people cut when they have low self-esteem, so a genuine compliment can go a long way.

Hopefully she is getting some relief by meeting with a counselor.  If she is cutting to cope with her emotions, there are better alternatives.  Some could be distractions like writing thoughts out, doing a clean up task, calling a friend. Others could be ways to relax like taking a walk, taking a hot shower, or listening to relaxing music. These could be skills she uses throughout life when it becomes stressful. There are more ideas at http://www.yourlifeyourvoice.org/DiscoverIt/Articles/Pages/99-Coping-Skills.aspx

Maybe go to that link and print it off for your sister.  It could be a reminder for her that there are healthier ways to cope.  Keeping safe is the first goal here. :)

Laura - Crisis Counselor
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Additional Answers (3)

Justanotheremogirl
Justanother... writes:
Take away anything sharp and try to keep her in your sight as much as possible. She can cut if you are watching her aLIKE A HAWK
> 60 days ago

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TeacherandParent
TeacherandP... writes:
You're a very caring sister and your sister is lucky to have you. Kids who 'cut' often do so to distract themself from the emotional pain they're feeling. Life can feel too sad or to overwhelming sometimes. How long has your sister been doing this?

Do you have grandparents? A family minister? If your sister's counselor is not helping, she might need a different counselor. Cutting usually isn't something that someone can just be told not to do or talked out of. Your sister needs someone to whom she can really talk.

How does your sister feel about the coming baby? How is she doing in school? There are reasons other than abuse that can lead to cutting.
If you have caring grandparents or aunts and uncles or a family minister, maybe they could play a role in helping your sister to find stronger footing.
> 60 days ago

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Boys Town National Hotline
It's easy to see that you are a caring sister.  Have you told your sister that you are worried about her?  Sometimes when someone is hurting it helps just to know that someone is thinking about you.  Some people self-harm to cope.  That pain reminds them that they can feel or gives them a rush of relief.  You are right though, she could hurt herself more than she intends too. It's OK to let her know you care about her and value her.  A lot of times people cut when they have low self-esteem, so a genuine compliment can go a long way.

Hopefully she is getting some relief by meeting with a counselor.  If she is cutting to cope with her emotions, there are better alternatives.  Some could be distractions like writing thoughts out, doing a clean up task, calling a friend. Others could be ways to relax like taking a walk, taking a hot shower, or listening to relaxing music. These could be skills she uses throughout life when it becomes stressful. There are more ideas at http://www.yourlifeyourvoice.org/DiscoverIt/Articles/Pages/99-Coping-Skills.aspx

Maybe go to that link and print it off for your sister.  It could be a reminder for her that there are healthier ways to cope.  Keeping safe is the first goal here. :)

Laura - Crisis Counselor
51 days ago

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