My daughter attends a private school and she is clearly bullied. I've spoken to the teachers and principals and they have done nothing. What can I do?

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meggh22 asks:

My daughter is 12 years old, and she has been bullied for a while now. I would say at least 2 years. But recently I it has gotten worse. Over the weekend she went to a camp with the girls in her class. They were calling her names, hitting her, and then wrote on her face and arms with marker while she was asleep. She called me crying that night and asked if I could pick her up. That Monday she went back to school, the bullying continued. My daughter said they make fun of her hair, clothes, the way she talks (she has a slight speech impediment), and what she brings for lunch. She came home crying that day saying they hurt her feelings. So my husband called one of the girl's mothers whom we know very well and left a message after calling twice with no answer. We then got notice that the principal wanted to speak with us. I told her our side of the story and no immediate action was taken. The next day, Tuesday, my daughter came home from school crying again. I asked her what happened this time. She told me that the vice principal and principal took her into the office and said the reason girls pick on you is because they said you say mean things. My daughter said she swears she never said anything mean. Which I do believe is true because she is rather shy and quiet to begin with. She said she felt harassed by the principals because they kept saying "I know you did something wrong, just admit it

Question asked after reading: http://www.education.com/topic/school-bullying-...

In Topics: Working with school administrators, My Relationship with my child's school, Bullying and teasing

> 60 days ago

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Expert

BMelton

Sep 13, 2012

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What the Expert Says:

I commend your advocacy for your daughter. Your husband and you have tried several ways to intervene in appropriate ways: calling the parents, talking to the administration, and showing understanding and care to your daughter. What you describe is beyond name calling- it is assault. Hitting her and marking on her arms and face with markers while she is asleep is horrific. In meeting with the administration, you offer th solutions you see are viable in addressing bullying. This may include: (1) apologies from the children involved and pledges to stop bullying (name calling, hitting, teasing, etc.); (2) a research-based anti-bullying program for the entire school; and (3) professional counseling intervention with the class involved. Be supportive of both the school administration and teachers. Interventions may have occurred but they are limited in sharing this information due to privacy issues with others.

Another option is a transfer to another school. This gives your daughter a clean, fresh start in a new environment. You may consider counseling for your daughter. She is shy and quiet and may benefit from assertiveness training to help her advocate for herself. Unfortunately, children tend to pick on the child who reacts and is most vulnerable.

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jbean83 writes:

First of all my heart breaks for your daughter. This is a terrible case and has been going on for some time. Bullying is not tolerated and should not be but unfortunately it goes on more than we'd like it to. What I would do is have another meeting with your daughter's teacher and the principal. Voice your concerns and don't let them sway you around. Be aware of politics. Every school has them and nepotism is unfortunately prevalent at every school. If this approach does not work I would go to someone higher than the principal. I would call a supervisor, super intendent, whatever may be the next person up. I would raise concern because your daughter should not have to suffer nor be driven out of her own school.. Furthermore, i'm sure your daughter is not alone, and they are many other children who are experience this. Hopefully once things gets voiced positive action will prevail.

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