My daughter is fourteen years old (year nine) and hardly ever goes to school, what should I do?

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AsAParent asks:

My daughter has counseling for depressed behavior but doesn't actually have depression. She gets what she calls 'low' quite a lot and then refuses to get up/go to school. Her attendance for school is low, something around 75%. She sometimes completes a whole week, and then the next week will be off for two or three days. My ex lets her off a lot as well, because at home she complains about having 'nothing left to live for' and I know she is under a lot of stress at school.
According to her she gets a lot of homework, and nearly everyday gets tests. She also has her options to pick in January. She is in top sets for just about everything, and her school in the best in town, which means they have high standards.
My daughter also has other stress in her life, and then all them added together cause her to have times where she just wants to cry/or does cry and sleeps way too much.
I have no clue what to do, and if I send her to school like this I feel like the bad guy, but I know she has to go!

Question asked after reading: http://www.education.com/magazine/article/Schoo...

In Topics: School and Academics, Motivation and achievement at school

> 60 days ago

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Expert

Louiseasl

Dec 22, 2012

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What the Expert Says:

Hello and thank you for writing to JustAsk!

Please consider going to the School Psychologist and/or Mental Health Counselor in your school district who can help with direct services for school refusal.

It also may be possible that she may need an alternate program, such as online study. However, please consider connecting with the school district first, as her motivation may not be one that would allow for online success.

Good luck!

Louise Sattler, NCSP

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Additional Answers (5)

RayNarayan writes:

The best thing you can do is to provide her with online tutorial packages which she can refer whenever she is free after playing video games and all. The e-resources would help her a lot and the representation on such sites make the concepts lucid and easy to grasp. Go for a site 1to1 tutor, which not only provides in depth knowledge knowledge but one to one guidance too.

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DarthVader94 writes:

I don't know. I know your daughter very well and I'm not exactly a mom but here is a couple of helpful tips: Whenever I was sad or in her case minorly depressed I read books. Yes, yes I know that not everyone likes books so hears another tip: why don't you find something that you and she did special together that might bring the kid out from within. Or try this: find things your daughter likes to do besides watching TV etc. The thing about school, well I wouldn't know because I always liked school... but you can help her with homework by making memorable, humorous tricks that she'll have to memorize for tests and adding fun facts in topics that she likes.

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Jiff , Student writes:

I think your daughter had something against the school. Have you asked about bullies or teasing going on?

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RayNarayan writes:

You may lower her stress in the school by making her do some of her homework through the online portals. They not only help in learning in synoptic way but also are user friendly as they are readily available whenever you want to learn and inquire. They also provide one to one guidance and personalized tests help as yardsticks for one's grasp of concepts. Learning subjects like mathematics is made easy and friendly by these portals.

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annhiatt writes:

Have you thought of homeschooling? My son went from a happy go lucky child to an unhappy, moody, wanted to stay in his room child. The total opposite of his nature. The stress it put him under was too much for him to handle. We decided to try homeschooling just to see if it helped and now he is back to his old self and learning more than ever. Every year we have him tested to make sure he is at grade level. So far he is above average in his testing. Maybe this could be an option for your daughter as well.

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