My daughter lost a friend and her life is going down hill. Help!

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SarahLee123 asks:

My daughter was really close to this girl. The girl she had been really close to told her that she didn't want to be her friend and that she hates her and that they would never be friends again. My daughter tells me that this girl has been taking her other friends and that she doesn't really hangout with anyone anymore. That girl was her best friend and she feels lost without her but doesn't want to be her friend for what she has done. Her other two best friends are still her friends but seem to like the other girl more. My daughter feels left out and I'm concerned. She wants to meet some new friends that aren't in the district that she can talk to when things like this happen. My daughter feels lonely and alone. Please help.

In Topics: Friendships and peer relationships

> 60 days ago

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Expert

EdieRaether

Apr 14, 2011

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What the Expert Says:

Another teachable moment. Why do we always want what we can't have.
Let it go. Good lesson for all of us. Appreciate what we got...the two friends that are hers.
As the author of Stop Bullying Now...girls can be challenging and love to exclude and alienate others as a way of gaining power.
Being a family counselor, I might make one try at bringing them together and
help all get an understanding and learn to be more caring and compassionate.
If that doesn't work...then we move on....
This is exactly why I developed a character building program for children which includes developing compassion. Is the teacher aware of this? A good one can
help. Take care,

Resources:

www.stopbullyingwithedie.com

www.wingsforwishes.com

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Louiseasl , Child Professional writes:

Hello and thank you for writing!

I am so sorry that your daughter is experiencing what is becoming a trend with kids. Please let her know that she is NOT alone. What I would recommend based on personal experiences is to give your daughter new opportunities to meet friends that are outside of the school. Perhaps enroll her in programs that suit her interests. This could be art classes, sports, scouts- whatever excites her and opens her up to meeting new kids independent of her school. I know that I had to travel a bit for my daughter to go to acting classes, but it ended up that some of her best friends were made after school hours and not within the neighborhood.

Good luck!

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