outamymind asks:

How should I help my daughter overcome stage fright and go to her audition?

I have two teenage daughters.  My oldest daughter is 15 and has wanted to be a majorette since she was small.  I have invested lots of time and money into lessons for the both of them for several years now in order for them to achieve this dream.  My oldest daughter is very small and petite and deals with self esteem issues because of her height.  She is very beautiful and smart.  Tryouts are only a month away and we have had private lessons so that she could learn a routine.  Now all of a sudden, she is getting cold feet and doesn't want to try out.  She gets really nervous in front of crowds and thinks that everyone is "judging her".  I know that she is uncomfortable in these situations, but I was hoping that this would help to calm her fears and help her self esteem issues.  Should I insist that she try out - against her will, or should I let her make the decision and encourage her to find another club or activity that will best suit her.

I can make her try out, however I can't make her like it or give it 100%.
In Topics: Self esteem and identity
> 60 days ago


Answers (1)

KidAngel writes:
Oh those teenage years! I hear you and your concern. In my experience working with teenage girls that do have self esteem issues I have found that it is best to allow them to move in the direction that they are going to feel most comfortable with. I know that you have invested a lot of time and money to her lessons but I believe forcing her to perform in from of her peers and her teachers would be even more harmful to her self-esteem issues. I would sit down and have a private talk with her and tell her that you have done all you can do as a parent to assist her in obtaining her dream and now the ball is in her court. Show unconditional love to her and let her know that whether she decides to try out or not that you love her very much either way. Tell her that if she chooses not to try out would she be open to speak to a therapist concerning her self esteem issues. I would also state that she needs to understand that until she can resolve these issues with a professional you feel that you should not spend anymore money for lessons. Self esteem issues usually do not go away by themselves. That is why I am recommending seeing a professional in the field of adolescent psychology so that the root of her issues may be uncovered once and for all. Thank you for being an invested caring parent with your child€™s needs.

Barbara Antinoro
Educational Counselor
Kid Angel Foundation
Education.com team
> 60 days ago

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