How can I deal with children bullying my child at school?

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lilyd asks:

My 7th grade son is ad/hd and is bullied on an almost daily basis and has been since the beginning of the school year. He broke his ankle back in Sept. and was on crutches, another child walked up and slapped him on the face because he wouldn't let him use his crutches. I watched this happen and was told that I couldn't desipline kids on the school property. I never did anything to the kid other than ask him if he hit my son, which was obvious but I was mad. The school done nothing. This is still going on. I have called the school principle and superintendent numorus times and been told that I need to realize that my son is probably instigating it because he makes wierd noises all the time. today a kid elbowed him in the collar bone so my son shoved him. my son now has two days detention but nothing was done to the child that started it. When we told the school there were witnesses they said they didn't need them. Does anyone have any ideas that will help in this situation. I cannot afford to send my kids to a private school.

In Topics: Bullying and teasing

> 60 days ago

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Expert

Boys Town National Hotline

Jul 1, 2009

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What the Expert Says:

I am sorry to hear that your son is facing such adversity at school. While the school principal does not seem to be interested in helping him, there are things that you as a parent can do to help.

Continue to encourage your son's own unique gifts and talents. Help him to realize his strengths and to develop life goals. A strong sense of self will help protect your son from the ill effects of bullying and keep him positively focused.

Without placing any blame, help your son to see how a person's actions can have an impact on others. Help him to realize that he can control only his own behavior and not the behavior of anyone else.

Teach him to stay safe by avoiding interactions with negative classmates and to instead develop his friendships with classmates that have common interests or abilities.

Remember that what you say and do will have a strong impact on your son's behavior. Children tend to mimic the adults in their lives. When you are in the midst of conflict remain calm and solution focused. Help your son to see how he can choose to be peaceful and walk away rather than get caught up in a physically violent situation. If others see him as someone who is able to handle himself with restraint there will be less of a physical challenge by others.

Lastly, if the problem persists, you may want to meet with other parents to see if their children are experiencing similar problems. If the bullying is school wide and the principal is not taking notice you may consider attending the next meeting of the school board to voice your concerns.

For additional help and support, you may want to consider contacting the Boys Town National Hotline for immediate support. Trained counselors are available by phone at 1-800-448-3000, 24 hours a day, 7 days. Please feel free to pass the Hotline number along to your son as well.

Thanks for fowarding your concern to www.education.com.

Boys Town National Hotline
1-800-448-3000

Resources:

www.parenting.org

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Additional Answers (4)

KidAngel writes:

This is a serious issue Mom and I feel your pain. Here is a suggestion that you can look into. Go to the Library or buy the book, The ADD Answer by Dr. Frank Lawless. It explains methods to use for children with ADD and ADHD. Food allergies have been a proven fact that may cause hyperactivity in children. Dr. LawlessÃ¢â��Â¬Ã¢â��Â¢s book explains in detail how to check for food allergies that may be causing him to be hyper.. A lot of children do have behavior issues if they are not on any remedy for their ADHD. As you know children with ADHD tend to be hyper. I personally am not one to recommend chemical methods to correct the effects of ADD or ADHD. So, read the book. There are other ways that are proven to work without chemicals. I believe that until you have your sonsÃ¢â��Â¬Ã¢â��Â¢ hyperactivity in check the conflicts at school may continue.
I commend you for doing all you can with your sons school. However, here is another suggestion in that vein. All school districts have a School Psychologist on staff. Call your District Office and make an appt to go in and speak to him with your son. He/she should be able to also give you some avenues of relief from the bullying. They deal with these issues day in and day out. Stay strong, Mom. Please check out the book, you will be amazed!

Barbara Antinoro
Founder
Kid Angel Foundation

> 60 days ago

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Grandmom 13 writes:

There is an incident in Castle Rock, Colorado, currently, where a young man was bullying someone like your child. My grandson went to one of his teachers, and coach. Nothing was done, my grandson is currently in the "process" of being expelled because he finally popped off to the bully about is bullying this other student who was not capable of standing up for himself. Now do I think my grandson was right - NO, however, the ones that should be expelled are the teacher and coach who did nothing.

> 60 days ago

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