How do you deal with a parent who is ashamed of her daughter's speech and behavior problems? She denies the issue and keeps her 6 yr old out of school

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Amiramak asks:

The child spoke late, 4 yrs, and still has speech problems. She has been assessed and found to be above average intelligence. The child seems to be in control of the mother who jumps at every beck and call. The mother is a nervous wreck and the child takes off clothes in public to punish mother for an unwanted vaccination or Dr's visit. she refuses to comb her hair and wears her older brother's clothes. The father is supportive, but they dont know what to do. She refuses to even discuss the issue or talk about the problem. Denial with us (the family) and keeps her at home,no school or kindergarden!

In Topics: Parenting / Our Family, Discipline and behavior challenges

> 60 days ago

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Expert

Boys Town National Hotline

Jan 15, 2011

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What the Expert Says:

Thank you for contacting Education.com

You said this child has been assessed and is above average intelligence, but she has speech delay and behavioral problems. Did they test this girl for an Autism Spectrum Disorder? You may suggest that they have her evaluated by a professional who specializes in Autism and Asperger's, just to be sure.

You don't mention your relationship with this family, ie: are you a grandparent or a sibling. But if you are a grandparent or close family member, you can talk with the parents out of concern for not only the child, but for them. At the very least, they need help with parenting. And if the child does have a neurological issue such as Autism, then they will need professional help for the rest of their child's life. Try not to criticize, but help them to understand that the earlier they reach out for help, the better it will be for everyone, especially the child and her future development.

Please encourage the parents to go to our parenting website: www.parenting.org We have many resources for parents who are having behavioral problems with their children. They can also call our 24 hour hotline and speak directly with a trained counselor. We are here to listen and support parents through any problem and we can find resources in their local area.

Thanks for reaching out and for your care and concern for this child and family.

Sincerely,
Cynthia, Counselor
Boys Town National Hotline
1-800-448-3000
hotline@boystown.org

Resources:

http://www.parenting.org

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