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Tanya5867
Tanya5867 asks:
Q:

Desperate with my 16 yo son that he's refusing to attend school

Hello all,
I'm in the state of Michigan. My son was diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome and also mood disorders. He obviously has an IEP.
He's been totally refusing to attend school. All started when he was friends with a girl at school which she was very supportive with him, then they had a small dispute now this girl is not acting the same towards my son and this is why he will not attend school...This is been going on for 2 months. I talked to my District about it...so far nothing has been done. I've taken the computer away which he likes so much, he's still wont go to school. I know that in Michigan once you're 16 you don't have to attend school, so that's my fear that the District wont take action...im talking about providing a different placement or give us some options. He's in 11th grade, he flunked 10th gd. Is just been so many issues through his school years. Im even thinking to move to another County, or even state.  I really appreciate any advice on what to do. And our concern is the longer he skip school the worse is going to be. And he does go to school anything happens that he does not like..the next day he will not attend school. Anyone knows a good school District that has a High functioning Autism Program for High School students?
Thanks so much for your support!
In Topics: Special needs
> 60 days ago

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Expert

LouiseSattler
Feb 11, 2014
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What the Expert Says:

Hello and thank you for writing,

I am so sorry to hear about the challenges presented by your current circumstances.  I know this must be a very difficult time for you.  Please consider connecting with the local support and resource groups for adults and children with Autism (AutismSpeaks.com would be one resource).

Also, the local library, school counselor (another resource) and others may guide you in the direction of receiving help for your son or finding connections to those who can.

Good luck!

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Additional Answers (3)

Ruthliz
Ruthliz writes:
Hi there, being a teacher I understand how you feel about your son refusing to go to school. I have never delt with any autism cases but have heard about it. You need to make this child feel loved, and not just that, teach him how to love himself. If learns to love himself, he will surely be able to still hold up even when a friend stops being as supportive as s/he was.
It is also important to find out what exactly he wants to do with his life in a good way, and talk to him on a friendly basis not just as the father. You can help him achieve what he wants to do with his life since not all children are able to succeed academically. I really hope this helps and wish you luck.
Regards, NR
> 60 days ago

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Tanya5867
Tanya5867 writes:
Hello Ruthliz!
Thanks so much for your reply!
I never thought about it that way...As a parent you usually try to talk to your child about what can happen if someone does not get an education,
and try to make them see the reality when they get to adult life.
We always tell him; "If you get an education you will get a good job...if not is going to be very hard and you wont be able to buy nice things, have a good life" This is what I'm trying for him to understand but it seems that gets him more upset.
Also this is not always true...There are plenty of people that didn't even finish High School and they have other abilities and do very well.
I know the more I want him to do something..the less he does it.
By the way; he finally went to school yesterday and this girl started talking with him again! But is never a dull moment so I never know from one day to the other. He's also very good with computers, but I wish he'd use it for academic reasons and not just for video games!
As being High Functioning Autistic he created his own website to play video games and bring "members" to play games...I couldn't do that!
He wants to be a "video game Developer" he always said that.
But he needs to complete High School.
We also are talking to him that instead of being in a "Diploma Track" he'd
be in "Certificate of Completion" which being in Special Ed he can do that and learn life skills, vocational skills to prepare him for adult life, and also he can attend school until he's 26 yo!
But he has a very negative feeling about that; he wants a Diploma which at this time I'm not sure if he can achieve it.
I will try approaching him that way you suggested...you sound like a great teacher!!!
Also another question; Do you think the District should give us other options about a different placement or find a different way for his learning?
I feel they also responsible to motivate him to attend school don't you think? Thanks again!!!
> 60 days ago

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TeacherandParent
TeacherandP... writes:
Does he have other friends at school? If so, maybe they can help persuade him to return. If this girl was his only friend - it's not fun to go to school when you feel you have no friends.
Have you considered online education? If he failed 10th grade, it doesn't sound as if traditional school is working well for him - he might do better with online education and these days every state has one. He can get a high school degree online - these days you can even get a college degree on line. Maybe going to online school and trying to find him a part-time job where he might learn some job skills would work out better than traditional high school.

If the District takes action - that would be to bring the both of you to court for truancy - is that really what you want? Have you looked for an autism/Asperger's support group in your area? Those parents might have some good recommendations for you on better schools in the area. A google search should be able to tell you where there are Aspergers' support groups in your area.
> 60 days ago

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