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sharne27
sharne27 asks:
Q:

Destructive but extremely clever 3 year old

Hi my 3 yr old son is destructive wont do anything i say, hits me has and answer for everything. he started talking at 6 months old. He cant sit still He wont leave our cat alone. yet he has this amazing sweet kind side to him to.
He runs off down the street and trys to across the roads he says hes to fast for a car to hit him.
His nursery have commented on his braininess and how clever he is.
He is well behaved at nursery but like i said with me he is so bad most of the time.
i don't hit him, ive tried the naughty stool time out ect
I feel im losing all control.
has anybody else have a extremely clever but destructive chlid? and any advice please.
He wants constant attention
i do lots of activities with him like cooking pretend play ect.
He gets bored easily.
we also have a cat she had kittens and he threw 1 of the kittens down the stairs. The kitten is save and well they all went to my friend. we only have the mum now. he likes to pull her by the tail and chase her. she leaves house all day now.He can be so nice to wildlife and animals tho so it confuses me.
 
In Topics: Discipline and behavior challenges
> 60 days ago

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Expert

Boys Town National Hotline
Mar 2, 2014
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What the Expert Says:

The best advice we can give you is to schedule an appointment with his pediatrician so you can share your concerns with him/her.  We feel a good resource for you is our Hotline which is the Boys Town National Hotline.   We have counselors available 24/7 to help with any parenting issues.  Our Hotline number 1-800-448-3000.  The second is our website for parents.  It is www.parenting.org.  On our site we have specific steps on how to teach children differenct social skills such as how to follow instructions.  

Please feel free to contact our Hotline and speak with a crisis counselor if you need more advice and support. Once again, our counselors are here 24 hours, 7 days a week. Take care and we wish you the best.


Sincerely,

Chris, Counselor
Boys Town National Hotline
1-800-448-3000
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Additional Answers (3)

teenmommy
teenmommy writes:
My son is almost 3 and can operate a playstation,leapfrog,Ipadetc.. He is well behaved at school and I find it hard to believe because he can be really naughty most of the time... Children are not stupid, when he gets bored ask him what does HE want to do, encourage him on making decisions such as what movie he wants to watch, the one with fishies or the one with doggies.. Also in the road stand and hold him, tell him to look left and show him which way is left/right. Tell him to look and ask if cars are coming and if we can cross yet.. ALWAYS hold ur childs hand when you are not in the yard, it is not his fault he is curious. Stand and show him cars driving by telling him to be careful, my son now points out to us that we must becareful the cars when we out. When he hits you, tap him back and say don't hit I'm going to hit you back.. I know it is difficult not to just smack the child, but then he won't be learning why it is he is getting smacked, and will just become worse. Never let anger control you when you are parenting. Hope this helps..
> 60 days ago

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charliejackson
charliejack... writes:
All 3 year old kids want attention. It's natural because they want to know that they are understood and belong. He will do anything to get your attention - even if it's punishment.

So the best thing to do is always focus on his positive behaviors and do your best to ignore the bad ones. I don't mean to let him just get away with anything, but don't show your negative emotions, only show your positive emotions when he is being good.


When he is naughty, that is the time to get his attention so that you are demonstrating that you are the one in control.

Here is a terrific tip that I learned from reading a book called Toddler Parenting. Your son CANNOT ignore you if you force him to use three senses at once. Once you have his attention, that is the time to communicate to him. What you say and how you say it is too much to cover in this answer, but at least try this. Get down to his level and then
1. Look at him straight in the eye (visual sense)
2. Say his name and give him a firm message in a loving way (auditory)
3. Touch him - either on the shoulder, or hold his arm gently, but firmly (touch).
He will take notice.

There is so much more that I could say but I suggest that you read a really good little book called "Toddler Parenting" written by Laura Stewart. You can buy it as a Kindle version or paperback and I found it just so helpful.

There is a whole chapter on Communication that helped me understand how to speak with my toddlers. It has made such a difference! In fact the whole book is filled with valuable info that should help you with your clever son.

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TeacherandParent
TeacherandP... writes:
Some children are indeed smarter than others and have more energy than others - that your son is well behaved in school and not at home suggests he responds well to structure. He needs planned activities and a schedule - that's what school does for him.
My own son was like this and we put him in an all day nursery school rather than just a half day. He was very happy and well behaved at school - he enjoyed the activities.
Can you consider putting him in an all day nursery school? The destruction that he evidences at home seems a sign of boredom to me - he's a high energy child who likes school. Some children can entertain themselves very well but others can't and those smart, high energy children who can't entertain themselves can become descructive just because they constantly look for the next and different thing to do.
> 60 days ago

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