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sfiala2008
sfiala2008 asks:
Q:

I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer 3 years ago.  In addition to developing separation anxiety, my daughter seems to not have matured much since.

By not maturing I am referring to the fact that she tells me she loves me constantly, can't fall or stay asleep unless I sleep in her room or she sleeps in bed with my husband and I, and gets overemotional about silly things like how cute the dogs are.  She is 13 years old.  

Question asked after reading: http://www.education.com/reference/article/stre...
In Topics: Self esteem and identity, Discipline and behavior challenges, Motherhood
> 60 days ago

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Expert

AnnieFox
Oct 24, 2010
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What the Expert Says:

I hope that you are now cancer-free and will continue to be healthy. What you're describing is not uncommon. Naturally, when you got sick, your daughter was badly frightened. She was afraid you might die! That's going to shake up any kids. It sounds a bit like you are impatient with her clinginess and that you have an expectation of how "mature" a 13 year old should be. But the average 13 year old didn't go through what your daughter went through so it isn't reasonable to judge her as a "typical" 13 year old.  She needs reassurance that her mom isn't going to die. I realize there are no guarantees for you or any of us, but that's why your daughter is acting this way. My best advice is for you to seek out a therapist (perhaps someone in the cancer-support community) who specializes in working with tweens and teens who, like your daughter, have had a parent deal with cancer. Your daughter would benefit greatly from this kind of one on one therapy (or being part of a therapeutic group with other kids her age who've had this family experience.) In the meantime, please try to be more patient and compassionate with your daugther.

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