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Anonymous
Anonymous asks:
Q:

Due to economy about to lose my job, as single mom to a 10 year old girl. Should I tell her immediately when it happens or wait?

Don't want to worry her.
In Topics: Parenting / Our Family, Communicating with my child (The tough talks)
> 60 days ago

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Expert

LouiseSattler
Jun 28, 2010
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What the Expert Says:

Hello and thank you for writing to JustAsk,

First, I am so sorry that you have lost your employment. However, your ten year old daughter should be told some of the "basics" of what is happening instead of potentially hearing it from others. Consider telling her that you have lost your job but you are going to turn this negative situation in to a positive one by exploring alternative employment possibilities.  Also, let her know that you will be "tightening your financial belts" which may mean a few less dinners out or movies, but you will find other ways to enjoy your family time without it costing a lot of money.

I would also encourage you to talk with her school counselor to see if there are any children who have a similar circumstance and do they meet in a group to help discuss their feelings.

Children can be very resilient and I have learned over the years that even if a parent chooses not to tell them about a difficult situation, they usually suspect or find out.  By telling her first you control much of the situation and can allay her fears. Communicating to her can be very helpful.  

Good luck and we hope that you are successful with finding employment soon.  I have added some websites below that MAY be of help to you.

Regards,

Louise Masin Sattler, Nationally Certified School Psychologist
Owner of Signing Families
Host of Learning and Laughter with Louise on Toginet.com
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Edwards5
Jun 25, 2010
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Best Answer!

what's this?
from a fellow member
If you lose your job her world will not fall apart. But if you tell her she will worry about everything. You have to keep her safe from everything that is a lot I know but that also means not giving her anything els to worry about. Her worry world is big enough with out having grownup stuff to stress about to. You will be fine with out a job there are a lot of places out there to help you out. FIA you can git food stamps to help feed her, it may not be what you want but the best thing you can do for both of you is just git ready. You can git work mans comp. It is places to got to help pay your rent too. She is going to be just fine if you calm down and think 1st then do what ever you have to do for her.

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Additional Answers (3)

laurenf
laurenf writes:
I would tell her sooner rather than later. It would be less abrupt with more warning and will give you time to plan, together, how you will get through this time financially.
> 60 days ago

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Allyzari
Allyzari writes:
First of all, even though the situation is a scary one to be in- you sound like a strong enough women to be able to choose another way to feel about it- and your daughter will admire you when she sees how you cope. You are her hero! No matter what, and there is no greater time to show her how a hero responds when life throws challenges. This could be the most memorable lesson of her life- and one day she may attribute her success to how she watched you rise above in the face of adversity. Tell her now, and tell her about the new journey you will both be going on TOGETHER!
You will figure it out. I can already tell by the strength you have in your post. You won't rest until you do- because you are a mom, and that is what moms do. Parents everywhere are being thrust into this situation and once they realize they now have an opportunity to become their own boss (something they never would have taken the risk for unless they had lost their jobs) they all say they will never go back. We are all learning that the only true financial stability is the one we create for ourselves. Corporate jobs only masked their loyalty to their employees.
This will be a huge learning experience for both you and your daughter. Expect a big storm while the slate is being washed clean- and then- when you least expect it...a rainbow will appear. IT ALWAYS DOES. Mom and daughter taking on the world together. I think its a magical time for both of you, and in another year you may see this cross roads of a time as the greatest gift of your life.
As an enthusiast for self-employed parents, and a visionary for what parents can achieve by working together, I am rooting for you!!

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Marebear
Marebear , Student writes:
My Mom is going to loose her job, and as soon as she suspected the danger with her job, she told me. My dad is in his early fifties and is having difficulty doing his job. So as a compramise, my parents got me an early birthday present, but Christmas will be very skanty. I also know that I will not be getting my name-brand clothes for awhile. But, as long as theres food on the table, a roof over our heads, and clothes on our backs, I have no worry. Tell your daughter, but explain to her that things won't be that bad. Trust me, she won't worry if you tell her, and explain things, Hope this helps!!!
> 60 days ago

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